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Fjärde klass

Hösten 1966 började jag fjärde klass i Hole skola, som låg ungefär 5 minuter bort från vår ytterdörr. Det var slut med bussåkandet. Om jag inte minns fel började vi vid 8 eller 8.30.  Anledningen till att jag inte minns är att jag gick hemifrån vid 6.45 eller åtminstone före 7 varje dag. När klockan Wholesale China Jerseys var 7 var jag redan på plats på övervåningen i skolan där vi hade vårt klassrum. Städerskan kom redan klockan 6 så jag kunde ta mig in genom porten.

Sedan inväntade jag de andra barnen som en efter en anlände till skolan, ungefär en timme senare. Jag hörde stora hallen nere fyllas av eleverna i klass fem och sex. Mina egna klasskamrater var de enda som kom upp för trappan och det var svaret på varför jag bad mamma väcka mig senast 6.15 varje morgon.

Visserligen fick jag glåpord slängda i ansiktet direkt varje morgon, men för de mesta fick jag vara fysiskt ifred om inte någon var på särskilt dåligt humör och tog ut det på mig med knuffar och slag. Killarna hade växt till sig över sommaren, det kände jag på hårdheten i deras pojknävar.

Gatlopp

Men det var ändå ingenting mot det gatlopp som väntade mig om jag försov mig och kom till skolan samma tid som alla andra. I stora hallen nere väntade sadisterna på nästa färska offer. Och det var alltid jag. Leif Bengtsson minns jag speciellt för hans djupa hårda slag i ryggen. Han stank svett och hat när han ivrigt påhejad av resten av mobben slog så mycket han orkade. Jag stängde av och kämpade mig fram mot trappan till övervåningen. Runt omkring gapskrattade sadisterna lustfyllt medan slog mig mellan sig så hårt de kunde.

Man försover sig sällan igen efter ett sådant wake-up-call. Mamma var bekymrad över att jag fick sova alldeles för lite. Jag somnade sent, för jag var ju tvungen att vänta ut pappa för det mesta innan jag kunde gå på toa. Jag hade alltid ont i magen, (numer förstår jag att det var ångest och ren skräck.) Mamma visste att jag egentligen inte var någon morgonmänniska, ändå gjorde hon som jag bad och väckte mig vid 6-tiden varje morgon.

Men för att vara snäll lät hon ibland bli att väcka mig så tidigt, utan väntade till 7…

Det var fruktansvärt. Jag flög upp ur sängen helt vild av ångest. Jag visste vad som väntade om sadisterna hade hunnit till skolan innan jag hann in och uppför trappan. Jag åt inget, jag lät inte mamma fläta om mitt hår, jag slet till mig skolväskan och störtade iväg. Att jag hann fram först var en fråga om liv och död.

Ekonomiskt vanvett

Det var nog i fyran det märktes allt mer att min familj levde på fattigdomsgränsen. Det fanns helt enkelt inte pengar till mer än det allra nödvändigaste. Mamma kunde trolla med matpengarna, men ingen kunde göra av med inkomsterna lika snabbt som min pappa. Han drack inte, han spelade inte  fast båda rökte hemrullade cigaretter eller färdigrullade Ritz.

Min pappa var fullständigt hopplös närt det gällde ekonomi. Han var en drömmare som borde ha satts cheap authentic jerseys under förmyndare när det gällde pengar. Det drabbade min lojala mamma oerhört hårt. Det drabbade alla oss barn varje dag. Min pappa var en person som var älskad i alla läger. Av arbetskamrater, elever, grannar, bekanta och i princip alla människor han mötte tyckte om honom. Han var underhållande, generös (intill vanvett), dansant och en mycket bra organisatör.  En skicklig hantverkare.

Parallellt utnyttjade han varje människa han överhuvudtaget kunde låna pengar av utan åtskillnad. Han hade gjort samma sak hela livet, utan att ha de minsta onda avsikter. Pappa hade bara ”ont om slantar” och det var en konstant brist. Det här gjorde att hans egen släkt tog avstånd från honom. Efter pappas död pratade jag för första gången med hans bror Holger som var 12 år yngre. Jag hade aldrig träffat honom.  Holger sa i telefon: ”Vi blev helt enkelt tvungna att hålla oss ifrån honom för att inte dras in i hans ekonomiska vansinne. Jag hoppas vid Gud att ingen av er har ärvt han totala brist på ekonomiskt förstånd.” Jag hann aldrig träffa Holger som dog året efter.

Kalle och monsterlånet

Det fanns de som höll ut trots detta. Kalle på västkusten var en av dem. Egentligen var han en av min mammas vänner sedan de som 20- och 22-åringar hyrt rum av samma hyresvärdinna i Uppsala. Kalle läste vid universitetet och min mamma var föreståndare för två mjölkbarer. Kalle fick äta på kredit och deras vänskap varade livet ut. Trots att hon träffade och gifte sig med min pappa.

Kalle gifte sig också och fick en son. När Kalles lilla son var några år gammal arbetade båda föräldrarna som lärare. Kalle hade knappt 500 cheap oakley sunglasses kr i månadslön och hans fru Maj ännu mindre. Då fick min pappa extra dåligt med slantar. Kalle lånade honom 9 (NIO) månadslöner år 1959, pengar som Kalle naturligtvis aldrig såg skymten av igen. Pengarna hjälpte egentligen ingenting. Året efter gjorde pappa konkurs och vi förlorade allt vi ägde.

Under de kommande 30 åren berörde Kalle inte lånet med ett enda ord, trots att familjerna umgicks regelbundet. Han berättade historien för mig något år efter att min pappa dött. Och Kalle hade inte sagt något då heller, om jag inte fört saken på tal.

Jag hade själv lagt in ungefär hälften av min lön i pappas hushåll i åtminstone 13 år, från det jag började jobba som 18-åring tills han dog. (Mina syskon förstod aldrig varifrån deras kläder, mycket mat, lampor, gardiner, bildäck, hushållsmaskiner m.m. kom ifrån. De tror än idag att pappa betalade allt. ) Jag berättade alltså för Kalle precis som det hade varit och det var då han berättade sin egen lånehistoria. Med förbehållet att JAG absolut inte полиции skulle känna att jag var skyldig honom pengar.

Fattigdom

Under åren som kom fick jag höra fler historier om pappa och hans ständiga penningbrist. Men pappas stora charm gjorde att han klarade sig helskinnad varenda gång. Med åren blev Pappa något av expert på att hitta nya utvägar. Att aldrig betala förrän efter tredje påminnelsen var en självklarhet. Snabblånen hann att komma de sista åren av hans liv och slukade de sista örena av arvet.

Allt det här gjorde i alla fall att vi aldrig hade några pengar varken då jag växte upp eller åren efter. Vi barn samlade tomglas och sålde för att få godis. Än idag har jag blick för varenda tomburk och det händer aldrig att jag kastar en flaska med pant. Jag sålde jultidningar både i andra, tredje och fjärde klass. Jag fick en bok om fåglar i premie. Gäsp. Jag köpte mitt toalettbord med tillhörande stol. Och jag har kvar dem än.

Men det syntes och kändes att vi inte hade råd. Hela tiden. Jag minns exempelvis ingen julmat, utom fake oakleys risgrynsgröten som var god och skinkan och sillen som jag aldrig åt. Vi hade varken köttbullar, prinskorv eller någonting av allt det folk brukar ha. Jag älskade nötter, men en jul fanns det inte pengar så mamma undrade om vi kunde klara oss utan? Jag svarade ”Ja” men ångrade mig bittert när jag gick till familjen Melin och såg deras nötskål. Jag sa ”Mamma har glömt att köpa nötter…” Och den snälla tant Lillemor förstod precis. Hon fyllde en påse med nötter och gav mig. Julen var räddad.

Lillebror

Fattigdomen blev ännu en anledning att ge sig på oss. Min lillebror började skolan 1967, när det fortfarande var nästan sex månader kvar tills han skulle fylla sju. Mamma försökte få hans skolstart uppskjuten ett år, men det var viktigare att få fyllda klasser än elever som mådde bra på den tiden. Min lillebror fick ett helvete. Det fanns nämligen en taxichaufför som hade sex söner. Åtminstone två av dem var slagskämpar och mobbare. Man sa att de fick stryk hemma. Det tog de igen på andra barn. Ronny gick i klassen över min bror. Han var fet, stark och skoningslös. Det två åren med Ronny på samma skola har min bror burit med sig hela livet.

Men nu är det fortfarande bara hösten 1966 och jag går till skolan varje dag vid 06.45.

Hat

Varje dag hände något. Ibland var det mer. Filmförevisning i biblioteket. Alla stolar ställda i rader. Jag sitter i andra raden när jag  känner att någon nuddar min axel. Jag vänder mig om. Leif Bengtsson sitter bakom och blåser snus rakt in i mina ögon. Det svider som eld. Alla skrattar. Någon slår mig i ryggen som i förbigående. Dagens smäll utdelad. Alla mobbare har ett visst system. Svaghet triggar dem. Passivt motstånd väcker deras aggresivitet. Alla ska ha in minst ett slag på det feta äcklet varje dag.

Jag hatar dem. Maktlös, osynlig för alla utom för sadisterna genomlever jag mina dagar i fjärde klass.

Taler finnt

Men hemma väntar min lilla katt Måns. Mamma brukar ge honom mat och släppa in honom i mitt rum innan jag låser dörren igen. Kvällarna och nätterna tillbringar jag med  världslitteraturens stora klassiker, romaner från första halvan av 1900-talet och mängder av barn- och ungdomsböcker. Tillsammans med Måns, som är bara kärlek. Ingen kramar mig, ingen tröstar mig, ingen tycker om mig. Utom Måns. Jag kan fortfarande känna hans värme och tassar mot mitt bröst.

Mitt bokläsande ger mig stort ordförråd, långt utöver min ålder och framför allt mycket större ordförråd än alla jämnåriga. Ytterligare en anledning att hata mig. Jag bestämmer mig för att ALDRIG prata som mina skolkamrater.

”Du taler sä finnt” vräker de ur sig, dalbymålet den sista utposten mot omvärldens inflytande.

Jag gör allt för att finslipa mitt tal så att jag inte ska smittas av deras vidriga språk.

Jag lyckas ganska bra.

På minussidan ligger att jag får svårt att lära mig andra främmande språk, eftersom jag beslutat djupt i min själ att inte ta till mig andra dialekter.

Det tog de också ifrån mig, förutom min barndom.

 

 

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Tredje klass

Det blev allt svårare att leva, både i skolan och inte minst hemma. Tack vare mamma klarade jag mig från en skoldag till den andra, men jag hade ont i magen jämt. Vilket jag blev så van vid att det var först som vuxen jag förstod hur ont jag hade haft. Mamma tog mig till doktorn som utförde en förödmjukande undersökning och konstaterade att allt var bra. Jag hade svårt att röra mig, springa, eller att gå över ett golv.

Vad ingen visste var att jag egentligen var ganska vig, men att jag slutade att röra mig för att inte dra uppmärksamheten och mobbarnas blickar till mig. Mina muskler förkortades av alla slag och glåpord. Vuxna som mindes mig från min barndom berättade senare att de alltid hade uppfattat mig som sur. ”Du var lika sur jämt”.

Behärskad

Jag var inget charmfullt barn. Jag varken log eller grät eller pratade eller lekte när någon såg på. Jag utvecklade konsten att behärska mig oavsett vad som hände. Om jag glömde mig och drog lite på mungiporna var det alltid någon som la märke till det och vrålade till alla andra ”Se nu står det feta aset och flinar!” Jag kan se Per-Olof Olsson/Stenströms fräkniga ansikte med den vidöppna munnen framför mig. Och genast formerade sig angriparna och roade sig med att verbalt och fysiskt kränka mig så långt deras ordförråd och kreativitet räckte.

När vi diskuterade om vi skulle ha barn när vi blev stora kom frågan till mig. Jag sa att jag ville också ha barn när jag blev stor. Genast vände sig Roger mot mig och med ansiktet förvridet av förakt Cheap Jerseys väste han ”Vem i helvete skulle vilja knulla ett sådant förbannat äckel som du!?” Det var en av de anmärkningar som la grunden till mitt självhat och självförakt längre fram. Roger var själv mobbad och ville säkert knipa några pluspoäng hos dem högre upp i mobbinghierarkin, men att jag minns anmärkningen över 50 år senare kan ju vara en påminnelse om hur djupt man kan såra en annan människa på ett ögonblick. Idag är Roger gift och rektor så man kan konstatera att han själv fick sex och slipper bli mobbad som chef för hela skolan. Jag hoppas att Roger fick barn, för jag är säker på att han nog skulle vara en bra pappa trots allt. För när Roger inte var upptagen med att hata mig, såg och hörde jag hur trevlig han var mot andra. Roger hade så svårt med sin allergi med många sjukvårdsbesök, att han nog borde blivit lite ödmjuk. Och älskat sina barn, även om de inte blivit perfekta. Bosse blev Rogers allra bästa vän och de hängde ihop i alla väder. Det var tur för Roger att cheap football jerseys Bosse kom till klassen.

Kasperdockan

Fröken G avskydde mig verkligen. Det var ömsesidigt. Ingenting jag gjorde dög, oavsett vad det gällde. Sillpuddingskriget var en institution. Lika säkert som att jag skulle vägra sillpudding, lika säkert var det att fröken G skulle tvinga mig att sitta kvar i matsalen framför sillpuddingen tills bussen skulle gå. Våren -65 skulle vi göra kasperdockor till pjäsen på skolavslutningen. Häpnadsväckande nog fick jag tilldelat mig ”prinsessan”.

Vi blandade klister och pappersmassa till en deg och så formade vi huvuden som sattes att torka på en pappersstrut nedstucken i en flaska. Fröken G tog vägen förbi mig och bestämde att ”prinsessan” skulle ha knut. Alltså satte fröken fast en boll på mitt dockhuvud utan att diskutera saken med mig.  Hon satte på en boll till näsa också. Huvudet sattes att torka.

Veckan därpå var det dags att måla huvudena. Jag var inte så duktig, men fick hållas. (Stela, skräckslagna människor med ont i magen är inte så kreativa). Jag målade förstås håret med knuten gult och ansiktet skärt, med blå ögon och en röd mun. Prinsessan hade samma färger som jag. Ingen av oss var söt.

Veckan därpå skulle vi sy kläder. Jag som bara älskade djur, hade aldrig sytt dockkläder. Vi fick välja bland massor av tyglappar av alla slag. Jag valde ljusgul mjuk frotté. Frotté var nytt i mitten av 1960-talet. Jag sydde en mjuk klänning som min hand fick plats i. När det blev dags för pjäsen sydde fröken G en ny klänning i blått blankt tyg med en spets nertill. Så gjorde hon en krona och satte runt knuten. fake oakleys Fröken G var verkligen mycket bättre än jag på att göra kasperdockor. Jag tror att hon egentligen använde mig som ett alibi för att få göra prinsess-dockan helt själv. Clash Royale HackClash of Clans Hack

Mamma <3

Jag hatade matte (Tack vare min pappa och hans X-ekvation) Min mamma vars matte härstammade från 1930-talet kunde inte ställa upp ”rätt” men hon lärde sig. Sedan räknade hon ut mina tal efter att ha frågat ”Visst kan du det här?” och sedan skrev jag av hennes tal. Mamma räddade mitt liv, inte bara då utan gång på gång. Mamma gjorde inte som alla andra, hon var inte som någon annan. Och just därför räddade hon mig och fick mig att orka ännu en dag i helvetet.

Från det jag fyllt 8 ungefär kunde jag och min pappa inte längre vistas i samma rum, utan att jag sa eller gjorde något fel som fick honom att få ett vansinnesutbrott. Jag menar vredesutbrott som saknade all behärskning. Han gjorde mig skräckslagen. I många många år drömde jag mardrömmar om att människor i min närhet plötsligt förvandlades till livsfarliga odjur. Det är inte svårt att hitta källan till de mardrömmarna.

Det var nog hösten 1965 som jag fick en egen nyckel till mitt rum av mamma. Hon gav mig den och sa så här:

”Nu får du den här nyckeln. Den går till ditt rum. Du ska vara noga med att hålla reda på den. När pappa blir arg ska du SKYNDA dig in på ditt rum och LÅSA dörren. Du får INTE öppna dörren vad han än säger eller vad han än gör för då kommer han att SLÅ dig!”

– Kommer han att slå mig? frågade jag

”Ja, tro mig, Han kommer att slå dig. Om du bara visste hur många gånger jag gått emellan när han har försökt att ge dig stryk” sa mamma och suckade.

(Pappa kallade det tips ”juling”. Det kan nog vara norska.)

Starkare

Mamma räddade mitt liv många gånger.

Om mina lärare sett hur snabb jag kunde vara in på mitt rum så hade jag aldrig haft etta i gymnastik.

Det kunde gå veckor innan jag tillbringade tid med familjen. För det mesta hann jag få mat, men bäst av allt var de många kvällskurserna då pappa var kursledare och borta till 9-tiden på kvällen. replica oakleys Då kunde vi leva. När mina småsyskon somnat satt cheap jerseys jag och ritade medan mamma läste en bok. Jag var inte så bra men med mamma blev jag bättre.  Hon såg på mina teckningar och sa ”Du ska komma ihåg att vad andra än säger, så tycker jag alltid om dina teckningar. Jag kommer alltid tycka att du är väldigt duktig”. Eftersom mammas ord var det enda beröm jag  någonsin fick under hela min uppväxt, höll de mig uppe över ytan Wholesale NFL Jerseys så jag kunde dra ännu ett andetag för att överleva ännu en dag.

Minnet av mammas ord gjorde mig starkare då och ännu idag. Jag hade en gång en mamma och det har gjort hela hela skillnaden.

Nyckeln

Att ha en nyckel är också skillnad. I princip varenda dag inträffade något som drev min pappa från vettet och jag låste in mig. Sedan stod jag vid fönstret och lyssnade när han bultade på dörren och med mörk och hotfull röst försökte förmå mig att lyda.  ”ÖPPNA! ÖPPNA DÖRREN!” Han slog på dörren och jag stod vid fönstret beredd på att ta mig ut om dörren skulle gå sönder. Jag ställde alltid mina skor under fönstret så jag skulle ha något på fötterna om jag måste fly. Men dörren höll och jag slapp bli slagen.

Så småningom tröttnade han, men jag kunde ju inte gå ut ur rummet, för då satte bråket igång igen.. Värst var det att inte kunna gå på toaletten. Kissnödigheten höll mig vaken. När jag smög mig ut efter midnatt kunde jag kvalat in som inbrottstjuv. Jag är fortfarande väldigt bra på att ta mig fram tyst om det behövs. Jag är heller inte rädd för mörker. För mig är mörkret ett skydd.

Mot bakgrund av allt det här var det skönt när jag kunde inleda försäljning av jultidningar igen. Jag var ute varenda kväll, hur sent som helst.

Jag längtade aldrig hem.

”Those privileged to touch the lives of children
should constantly be aware that their impact on a single child
may affect a multitude of others a thousand years from now.”/okänd

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Sommaren 1965

Min lillasyster föddes på sportlovet. 2017-01-22 Det var en tisdag då jag vaknade upp och fick höra att hon kommit. Jag hade önskat mig en lillasyster och kände mig allsmäktig. Först fick jag den bror jag ville ha, sedan kom nästa som jag också beställt.

Mamma var mycket trött, men hon blev inte sjuk den här gången. Den 2 maj fyllde mamma 45 och min syster var lite drygt tre månader. Mamma brukade sy mina klänningar och annat jag behövde, men det här året bad hon pappa köpa en färdig examensklänning när han skulle åka på skolresa med sin klass.

Pappa kom hem cheap jerseys med en klänning som var ljust gul-vit i smala spetsränder. Som dekoration i midjan satt två diamantknappar. Det var den elegantaste klänning jag någonsin ägt. Det var en en vuxen damklänning i storlek 38, som mamma fållade upp så den skulle ray ban sunglasses passa mig. Den kostade 100 kr år 1965.

Lillasyster

Det var mycket spännande att få en liten syster och jag var oerhört stolt över henne. Vår grannfru som undervisade flickorna i nionde klass i barnkunskp fick låna min lillasyster när jag var i skolan. N’är jag kom hem och fick höra det blev jag rätt arg. Det kändes som om de tagit något ifrån mig.

– Ni får aldrig mer låna ut min cheap oakleys syster! Hon är MIN! Behöver tant S.  en baby i skolan får hon skaffa sig en själv, påpekade jag svartsjukt.

Jag bevakade min syster som en hök och älskade henne över alla gränser. Hon var otroligt söt.

I maj samma år fick vi en liten svart kattunge som döptes till Måns. Det blev min katt. Måns var ingen vanlig bondkatt. Han var en kvarts siames och pratade med långa intensiva jamanden. Dessutom ville han vara nära mig jämt. Jag som var helt svältfödd på kärlek och närhet, fick inte bara ett husdjur utan en vän som älskade mig utan förbehåll.  De långa ensamma timmarna på mitt rum fylldes plötsligt av liv. När jag låg och läste på min säng hoppade Måns  upp och dök upp framför min bok för att stryka sig mot mitt ansikte.  Jag som inte fått en kram på flera år hade äntligen någon som valde mig och var nära.

Lycklig sommar

Sommaren i Gillberga blev lycklig. Min lillasyster fick visserligen Röda Hund men den var snabbt avklarad. På midsommardagen döptes hon i Gillberga kyrka. Efteråt var det kaffe och tårta hos mormor på Närbyn. Det är lustigt att tänka på att jag sitter lika nära mormors stora målade porslinsskåp i kväll som jag gjorde den midsommardagen för 50 år sedan.  Ett halvt århundrade. Alla kring bordet är borta utom min lillasyster, min lillebror och jag.

Sedan några år tillbaka hyrde  vi Bygninga, huvudbyggnaden till en gammal gård i Rotvik, i närheten av sjön Botungen där min pappa sommaren 1965 byggde båthuset som han rodde över sjön. På kvällarna gick vi till Framgården och hämtade mjölk hos Sven och Svea som arrenderade mark och ladugården där de handmjölkade sina kor. Ibland såg vi älgar på Fake Oakleys gärdena runt gården när vi kom hem med mjölken.

Vi badade i den lilla viken invid vägen och mamma brukade använda den allmänna tvättgrytan som stod bakom några buskar. Långa sommardagar lekte vi i vattnet medan mamma tvättade och hängde. Det kändes som om solen sken hela sommaren 1965.

Vi hyrde bara nedervåningen i huset. I köket fanns vedspis och ett kylskåp. En diskbänk utan rinnande vatten och ett stort kallt skafferi. Vatten hämtade mamma i brunnen som låg uppe i slänten ovanför gården. I det största rummet sov pappa. Mamma, min syster och jag delade på två sängar i lilla kammaren. Jag minns inte alls var min bror låg.

Valparna

Om man följde landsvägen lite längre så kom man till Lillspeke på vänster hand. Där bodde Gottfrid, Elin och hennes dotter Karin som var snäll men mycket äldre än jag. De hade kennel och födde upp strävhåriga taxar. Jag gick dit varenda dag och lät de små valparna klättra på mig i hundgården. För mycket av det bästa kan vara alldeles underbart. När de växte till sig och började bitas tog jag paus då och då på taket till hundkojan.

Ibland blev jag bjuden på middag av den snälla tant Elin som hade rött hår och fräknar precis överallt.  När jag kom hem berättade jag för mamma att jag fått löja med äggsås. Men det var gös.

Tvärs över vägen från Lillspeke bodde en flicka hos sin mormor. Hon var 8 år och hade fått flytta till mormor för att de retades med henne i skolan. Hon var nämligen ut som 18. Numer kunde man ha hejdat hennes för tidiga pubertet, men 1965 kunde man bara stå maktlös och se på hur alla kroppsliga vuxentillbehör hamnade på sina rätta ställen. Hon var lika lång som jag och jämngammal med mig, men kändes mycket äldre. I allt hon var betedde hon sig som en vuxen. Hon diskuterade vanliga saker med min mamma som om replica oakleys de varit vuxna som lät mig sitta med vid bordet.

Hennes mormor hade för övrigt varit förlovad med min mammas morbror Artur i sin gröna ungdom, men пятен» det rann ut i sanden så jag fick inte prata om det.

Mellan jag var 7 tills jag var nästan 14  levde jag två liv. Skolterminerna handlade bara om överlevnad från en dag till den andra. Det verkliga livet började med sommarlovet och resan till Gillberga. En plats där jag var som alla andra.

 

 

 

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Sång och hembryggt äppelvin

Det var hösten 1964 som pappa bestämde sig för att göra äppelvin. Harry Edelmans ”Vinboken” införskaffades. Lådvis med äpplen köptes in. Inte en låda utan många. Jag minns hur stapeln med äppellådor nådde högt över mitt huvud.

Alla familjemedlemmar som kunde hantera en kniv kallades in till vinberedningen. Det var alltså pappa, jag och i viss mån mamma som samlades kring fruktbaljorna med äpplen. Varenda äpple synades och skars i bitar. Det tog en evighet. Pappa uppmuntrade mig. ”När du blir tio år ska du få smaka det här vinet”. Jag skulle snart fylla åtta. Tio år kändes lika avlägset som månen. Dessutom hade jag ingen uppfattning om vin överhuvudtaget. Men jag skar mina äpplen, kväll efter kväll. Vinhinkar och så småningom damejeanner fylldes. De senare försågs med jäsrör fyllda med vatten och en spännande ploppande utbröt.

Efter en tid tystnade vinet och alltsammans tappades på flaska. Sedan var det bara att vänta.

Hembränt

Normalt sett var förekomsten av alkohol minimal hemma hos oss. Varken min mamma eller pappa var någonsin påverkad så det märktes, ens när det var fest. När jag blev äldre fick jag höra historierna från Norge där hembränningsapparaterna stod och puttrade i de flesta hem. Jag fick alltid känslan av att det var spänningen och nyfikenheten som fick folk att tillverka brännvin.  I Fagernes lyckades länsman och min pappa vid ett tillfälle släcka belysningen i större delen av samhället när de skulle testa en ny apparat.

Nu bodde vi i Sysslebäck, fjärran från det vilda Norge och alla hembränningsexperter. Men vi hade vin. Faktum är att pappa tillverkade så mycket vin hösten 1964, att den fake oakleys sista flaskan tömdes på midsommarafton 1980. Livet stormade omkring oss, barn föddes och människor dog. Vi flyttade flera gånger. Men vinet klarade allt och fick genom åren en allt vackrare gyllene färg.

Mina föräldrar hade en glad och trevlig vänkrets där man oftast träffades hemma hos varandra på middagar. Vi barn fick alltid följa med och det gjorde att alla i familjen såg fram emot middagsbjudningarna.

Mat och retorik

När vi själva skulle ha gäster lagade wholesale jerseys mamma mat hela dagen och pappa skrev tal. Han var en talangfull och begåvad talare. Pappa  kunde inte bara hålla tal, utan också skriva långa rim på våra julklappar.  Mamma å sin sida hade redan som 21-åring varit föreståndarinna för två av Sandrews mjölkbarer i Uppsala. Hon var utbildad inom allt som rörde hushåll, inte minst matlagning och kunde trolla fram en festmåltid av nästan vad som helst. Hon var snabb och otålig, så det var bara genom att se på och lyssna som jag lärde mig laga mat. Mamma tyckte inte om när jag experimenterade. Att leka med mat var otänkbart. Om man skulle baka eller laga mat måste det också ätas upp.

Vi hade varken radio eller grammofon.  Däremot hade vi många visböcker. Alla våra gäster var musikaliska.  Jag minns hur jag låg i min säng och lyssnade till deras sånger medan kvällen led mot sitt slut.  Evert Taube, skillingtryck, folkvisor, sjömansvisor…

Sjunga

Både mamma och pappa kunde sjunga. Ibland när familjen var på bilutflykt eller på väg ner till sommarlivet i Gillberga där mormor bodde, brukade vi cheap jerseys sjunga i bilen. Pappa kom ihåg varenda versrad. Mamma kunde ha varit bättre. Men fiolspelandet på Ingesund och de förhatliga pianolektionerna hon genomled som tonåring hämmade henne bachiller en hel del. Men på våra bilresor sjöng alla med.

Minnet av sångerna, festerna och alla glada gäster i mitt föräldrahem tillhör mina goda barndomsminnen.  Snart skulle sångerna Cheap Jerseys from china tystna och musiken dö ut.

I höstas bestämde jag mig för att göra äppelvin, 50 år efter förra försöket. Min dotter och jag plockade frukt från vilda äppelträd. Jag tog min nyinköpta Edelmans Vinbok, den 41:a upplagan och satte igång. Det är verkligen en helt annan känsla att bereda vin som vuxen. Man kan se en början och ett slut på jobbet.

Vinet är tappat på flaskor. Nu är det bara att vänta.

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Vad konstnären hette har fallit i barmhärtig glömska. Hans porträtt på affischen visade en medelålders, glasögonprydd skallig man. Han såg sammanbiten ut. Iklädd mörk polo. Och känd. Tydligen.

Utställningslokalen var ödslig när jag och Solveig äntrade entrén och såg ut i den vita tomheten. Här och där hängde fyrkantiga tavlor med  typ färg. Heltäckande. Utan vare sig motiv eller någon form av mönster.Vi tog en förteckning och började bese konsten. Namn som ”fyra” föll sig ganska logiskt när fyra tavlor placerats i en fyrkant. Två vita diagonalt. Och en blå respektive en gul tavla på andra diagonalen.

Det var stora och det var små tavlor their website. ”Dimma”, ”Grå” och ”Sky” retade fantasin. Vi svängde runt en vägg och där stod han, konstnären och stirrade outgrundligt ut i fjärran. Strax bredvid hängde ”Blå” och ”Vit Mås”.  Konstnären rörde sig inte när vi närmade oss. Vi stannade framför ”Blå”.

Kulturminen

– Jaaahaaa, här har vi ”Blå” sa Solveig och tog på sig kulturminen.

Vi hade haft många tillfällen att öva den minen under sommaren på Gerlesborgsskolan i Bohuslän. Har man Carlo Derkert som grow föreläsare och i hjärtat tycker att hans mammas konst är förfärlig då håller man tyst. Eller sitter långt bak och tänker på sin katt.

Nu stod vi där framför ”Blå” och inte en räddning i sikte. Ingen mer var där utom vi. Och han som målat alltsammans. Dessutom stod han så nära att man inte kunde smita ut i tysthet.

Jag djupandades utan att säga ett ord. Jag borde ha fortsatt med det istället för att läsa högt:

– Vit mås… Vit MÅS?

Jag stirrade intensivt på den vita tavlan, på den vita utsmetade färgen. Och minsann i ett hörn fanns en liten grå korv. En måsbajs?

Jag skulle vilja ha frågat konstnären varför? Och hur han lyckats ta sig in och fått hålla en utställning? Om han kunde teckna alls och om han försörjer sig på det här.

Men vi kunde bara ta oss ut, hysteriskt fnissande.

Jag har aldrig varit där igen.

Beröra

Däremot skulle jag i många år vara kulturskribent, besöka massor av konstutställningar och se många prov på hantverk. En del har varit fantastiskt, annat medelmåttigt. Några få har varit på en nivå som cheap nfl jerseys andra inte ens kunnat drömma om. Så har vi dem som har det som hobby, är glada för att andra tycker om det de tillverkar och njuter att att få Cheap NFL Jerseys China något sålt.

Jag uppskattar en viss självdistans när det gäller konst. Många av de verkligt begåvade är lugna, tysta och ödmjuka. De behöver inte förhäva sig, utan visar sin passion, sin talang och sin förmåga genom sina konstverk.

Konst är att beröra människor känslomässigt på ett eller annat sätt.

– Att kunna måla, men inte ha något att säga är tragiskt, konstaterade Gerlesborgsskolans rektor. (Som jag inte ens minns vad han hette)

Och det är ungefär så jag känner då och då.

Jaha, här har vi dina tavlor. Och alla dina vänner säger att du är så begåvad och duktig. De ringer mig, de mailar och påpekar att du är så talangfull.

För de älskar dig.

Och bara det att du finns gör dem glada.

Det innebär inte att du är en speciellt stor konstnär.

Bara att du har många som älskar dig.

Don’t quit your day job.

Men var lycklig.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Att välja lyckan

När jag ser tillbaka på allt som hänt, känns det som om jag bara minns elände. Men under tiden jag berättar om svärtan händer det att färgerna under spindelväven blänker till. För första gången på många år.

Låt solens strålar smälta monstren. Nej, det är tyvärr inte alldeles sant. Några av de smärtsammaste dagar jag upplevt har varit de klaraste sommardagar, i fantastiska omgivningar medan människor skrattat runt omkring. Medan all världens härlighet bredde ut sig framför mina fötter kände jag hatet Cheap Brace Jerseys strömma över mig. Min fångvaktare överöste mig med de vidrigaste tillmälen, viskande och hjärtligt leende.

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När hela dygnet gick åt att balansera tillvaron och ta ansvar för alla vuxensaker, medan jag fasade för att lägga mig. Då blir man bra på att hålla sig vaken länge. Och lyssna till hjärtats förtvivlade slag. Och förtränga alla känslor för att inte bli galen.

Då var jag glad för varenda kyss jag fångat innan, i frihet. Särskilt de stulna, de förbjudna och alldeles underbara.

Jag tänker ofta att det finns ingen villkorslös kärlek. Allt har sitt pris, även kärlek. Man måste göra sig förtjänt av den. Den finns eller försvinner på ett ögonblick. Det finns inte så många hjärtan i min tillvaro.

Men så ser jag in i min lilla hunds bedjande blick och känner att henne älskar jag nog villkorslöst. Vad hon än gör. Hon kommer aldrig att svika mig, skada mig eller förråda mig. Eller försvinna utan ett ord.

50 centimeter

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De 50 centimeterna gjorde att jag kunde krama ett levande barn i fem timmar och hade lyckan att vara vaken tre timmar till bara för att lyssna till hans lätta andetag.

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Det var mindre smärtsamt än vanligt att sätta honom på bussen bort från mig.

Jag kände skönheten och lyckan. Jag kan stå ut med hatet och ondskan.

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Bleed for This (2016) Free Latest Films, Full Movie Online Streaming Free, Free Movies Streaming, English Subtitles Full HD.


Plot
‘Bleed for This’ is great movie tell story about The inspirational story of World Champion Boxer Vinny Pazienza, who after a near fatal car crash, which left him not knowing if he’d ever walk again, made one of sports most incredible comebacks. This film have genre Drama and have 116 minutes runtime.

Cast
Christine Evangelista as Ashley, Miles Teller as Vinny Pazienza, Ciarán Hinds as Angelo Pazienza, Ted Levine as Lou Duva, Katey Sagal as Louise Pazienza, Aaron Eckhart as Kevin Rooney.

Production
The Director of this film is Ben Younger. The movie Bleed for This is produced by Verdi Productions, Sikelia Productions, Bruce Cohen Productions, Younger Than You and released in November 04, 2016

Similar Movie
Bleed for This have some similar movie, Million Dollar Baby, Unbroken, Creed, Rocky, Eddie the Eagle, Raging Bull

Streaming Full Movie Bleed for This (2016)

You can enjoy to watch movie in theater or by streaming in HD quality by following link on this page. If you don’t have account, you can register for FREE to make sure our visitor is human. After register you can Watch or download this movie with high quality video.

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Den kalla sommaren

Vi flyttade till Sverige i oktober 1960. Efter att ha förlorat allt vi ägde befann vi oss i en by 3 mil från norska gränsen. Min mamma hade fyllt 40 samma år. Min pappa var tio år äldre. Nu väntade de sitt andra barn. Min Cheap Oakleys mamma skulle föda i slutet av december.

Vi bodde i husraden närmast vägen. På ena sidan hade vi en cheap jerseys snäll tant och i andra huset bodde Peter Olsén med sina föräldrar. Vi var födda samma år, men han var född i januari. Peter var snäll. Jag minns hur han torkade mina tårar med vanten när de andra barnen varit på mig igen. Samma gjorde tanten. Sedan brukade hon ge mig en karamell.

I december anlände mormor Hon skulle passa mig medan mamma var på BB. På juldagen var det dags. Pappa skjutsade mamma den tio mil långa vägen till Torsby BB. Grusvägen var gammal redan då. Gropig och backig slingrade den sig längs Klarälvens västra sida. Men ingenting hände, så de vände i Torsby och for tillbaka alla milen igen.

Lillebror

Den 29 december var det dags igen. Min lillebror kom dagen innan nyårsafton. Han andades in fostervatten och drunknade, men de fick igång honom igen. Pappa åkte och hämtade dem på BB. Lillebror bars in genom dörren inslagen i en stor ljusblå filt. Det var mycket kallt.

I april 1961 flyttade vi till Sysslebäck. Pappa hade köpt en f.d. skolbarack, som byggts om till hus. Pappa kallade det villa. Huset låg längs backen upp till det nya högstadiet som döpts till Kvistbergets skola, till allmän förargelse ska tilläggas.  Kvistberget var känt, för att där bodde tattarna. Den allmänna meningen var att skolan borde ha döpts efter kommunen till Dalby skola. Men Kvistberget blev det. Och en del tattare bodde fortfarande kvar.

Huset var ganska modernt. Det fanns badrum, med dusch och badkar. I källaren stod en vedeldad tvättgryta. Öppen planlösning, ett pyttekök med separat matplats som övergick i vardagsrum. Dessutom fanns tre sovrum.

Redan första dagen kom ett par småflickor och spanade in oss. Eva och Carita. De var ett par år äldre än jag. Mina föräldrar uppmuntrade mig att leka med dem. Jag var på min vakt efter Bograngen men kände mig glad för att de inte slog mig.

Skolan

Strax efter oss flyttade ytterligare en familj in i grannhuset. De hade två äldre pojkar. Högst upp i backen låg rektorsbostaden, både fysiskt och symboliskt.  Familjen hade tre döttrar, mycket medvetna om sin status. Fortsatte man längs vägen kom man fram till Evas hem, där hon bodde med mormor, morfar, mamma och två morbröder i tre rum, kök och kammare.

Skolan var nybyggd och jättelik. Det var den största byggnad jag någonsin sett. Den såg ut som två svarta kartonger på varandra, långa mörka korridorer utan slut. Massor av svarta fönster i vita fönsterfoder. Två portar med dubbla dörrar på fram och baksidan, plus ett antal mindre ytterdörrar på båda gavlarna. Stor mörk gymnastiksal, där även värmepannan fanns. Skorstenen spydde ut svart fet oljerök som la sig på allt. Speciellt mammas tvätt. Runt skolan planterades Berberisbuskar med giftiga röda bär. Som blodsdroppar hängde de längs grenarna och fullbordade intrycket.

Svängde man av runt skolans norra gavel fortsatte vägen förbi ett eternitklätt hus där Evas morfar hade en av sina bröder med familj. Ännu längre upp smalnade vägen och började klättra uppför sandåsen. Där stigen klövs hade man två val. Till vänster brusade Kvarnbäcken, till höger kunde man gå hur högt som helst. Sandåsarna som omgav dalen låg som terasser och för varje terass kunde man välja ALDOSTERIN® att gå rakt fram längs kanten eller fortsätta upp till nästa nivå. I dalens botten flöt Klarälven fram, fylld av timmer.

Mamma

En morgon när jag vaknade var mamma borta. Min lillebror fanns ingenstans. Pappa flätade mitt hår stenhårt medan han sa att mamma hade blivit sjuk och att lillebror hade fått följa med henne till sjukhuset. Jag fick choklad och smörgås. Klockan var ännu inte 7 när han tog med mig ut på yttertrappan. Så låste han dörren och sa:

– Nu måste jag gå till jobbet. Men om du vill mig något så är det bara du går upp till skolan och letar reda på mig. Du kan fråga vem som helst så visar de var jag är.

Så gick han. Kvar på trappan stod jag och såg honom gå. Wholesale NFL Jerseys  Ovanför mig höjde sig  sandåsarna med milsvida skogar. Nedanför mig gick stora landsvägen och på andra sidan vägen flöt den svarta älven.

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Var tog den lilla vägen…

Vaknade tidigt. Efter ett Wholesale Jerseys varv till badrummet tänkte jag lägga mig lite igen. Med van hand kände jag i mörkret efter den lilla kullen som markerar hunden. Jag vill ju inte råka lägga mig på henne. Klapp, klapp – överallt. Ingen hund. Började leta bland kuddar, täcken och cheap oakleys plädar. Ingen hund. Kikade försiktigt över kanten bakom sängen. Ingen avsvimmad chihuahua på golvet.

Jag började plocka bort sängkläderna. Så hittade jag henne i ett veck av stora filten. Hon låg som ett streck, helt stilla. Jag la handen på henne. Varm. Men jag kände inte att hon andades. Så jag drog fram henne, helt slapp med tassarna rakt efter sidorna. Jag höll henne i mina händer och hon bara hängde utan att röra sig alls. Höll henne mot örat och djupt därinne hörde jag hjärtat slå.

Sakta vaknade hon. Hennes mörka ögon betraktade mig i mörkret, tritt medan hon låg helt stilla som förut.

–  Jag trodde du var död, viskade jag.

Då lyfte hon höger tass, krokade hela frambenet runt min handled och slickade fyra gånger. Sedan somnade hon om igen.

En hund vet precis hur det känns.

 

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En baby kidnappas från BB tre dagar efter födseln. 17 år senare återfinns hon, efter att en lillasyster har mött henne i skolan. Hennes biologiska mamma, som i alla dessa år har sörjt, saknat och letat efter sin försvinna dotter säger att hon vill tacka kvinnan som tog hennes barn. För hon har uppfostrat dottern så bra, att hon är lika vacker inifrån och ut.

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Det får mig att tänka på de kvinnor som födde mina barn. Vad hade de tyckt om alltsammans? Har jag tagit hand om döttrarna tillräckligt bra för att kunna stå till svars, om deras döda mamma skulle stå framför mig? Fick de den familj hon hade önskat dem eller hade barnen haft det hockey jerseys bättre någon annanstans? Och flickan som gav liv åt min son. Hon gick vidare i livet. Jag undrar hur ofta hon tänker på honom, i hemlighet.

Kärlek

Det är lätt att säga att vilket barn som helst har det bättre i en familj där föräldrarna älskar varandra. Men det svåra är att inse att det inte är sant. Det finns familjer där de vuxna är så uppslukade av varandra att barnen får stå tillbaka. Att de vuxna först och främst ser till att den andra vuxna mår bra. Barnen i en sådan familj blir lärda att inte oroa mamma eller pappa, på uppmaning av den andra föräldern.

Barn har det bäst i en familj där barnen och deras behov sätt främst. Där de vuxna kan låta sina egna behov stå i bakgrunden, medan de tar hand om barnen. Det är lätt att påstå att jobbet är så viktigt och att man arbetar för familjens skull. Att det är så viktigt att man är på sin arbetsplats, att man aldrig kan ta föräldraledigt. Men barn bryr sig inte om din karriär, de bryr sig om att du ger dem tid.

Att ge barnen allt de pekar på, som den kan som aldrig sätter barnen främst, är den största otjänst man kan göra sina barn. När de växande barnen inser att lojalitet, tillgivenhet och kärlek kan säljas för pengar och presenter är de inte längre dina barn. De är säljare av en vara till högstbjudande. Så länge du betalar stannar de kvar. Och tiden går medan kraven växer och barnens hjärtan förvandlas till sten. De behöver inte ens duka av sin egen tallrik efter maten, de får allt de behöver ändå.

Pengar är allt?

Barnen kom till ett samhälle där karriär och pengar är ett mått på människors värde. Och de lärde sig snabbt att anamma omgivningens normer, eftersom det ger många bonuspoäng att passa in. Här stannar man inte hemma i onödan och tar hand om barnen. För att mamma ska få behålla jobbet sätts de flesta barn i förskola strax efter ettårsdagen. Den som är föräldraledig länge står utanför arbetsmarknaden och räknas bort både som person och yrkesmässigt.

Alla tre barnen började förskolan runt treårsdagen eller senare. Det var bra för dem. De hann landa i det nya livet, slapp många sjukdomar och var redo den dag de började dagis. Att leva sina första år i total fattigdom, svält och utanförskap sätter djupa spår. Distansen till främlingar Cheap NFL Jerseys finns inte kvar när man dagligen har överlevt genom att behaga andra. Besvikelsen över att världens bästa familj gick i kras förändrar verkligheten för alltid.  Det är lättare att byta liv som bebis. Man får mer tid, lägre förväntningar och har en hel krets av vuxna och syskon som gör allt för den som är ensam, liten och ny. Att vara sex år yngre än närmaste syskon är att födas som ensambarn.

Slutet

Det kom en dag då allt tog slut. Då likgiltigheten, egoismen och omogenheten hade gått så långt att allt var över. Inte ens för barnens skull fanns möjligheten att spela med i den stora farsen om den lyckliga familjen. Jag undrar vad de kvinnor som födde mina barn hade sagt om de kunnat tala. För jag vet vad de hade gjort. Ingenting. Där mina barn är födda finns inte skilsmässa på kartan, man dödar regelbundet mammor, unga fruar, kvinnor i alla åldrar som inte uppfyller kraven från släkten. Där hade jag varit död i samma stund jag börjat berätta. Här nöjde man sig med att starta en häxprocess, där man drog in barnen på ett sätt som skadade dem för alltid.

När ett helt brukssamhälle går samman för att skydda de sina då ger det effekt, det måste man erkänna. Överallt fanns de kontakter som behövdes för att ödelägga livet.

Istället för att polisanmäla flyttade jag med barnen. Att inte gå till läkare för dokumentation av skadorna och polisanmäla misshandeln är mitt livs största misstag. Alla kategorier.

Hånet

Han vet att han klarade sig undan på grund av att jag inte gick till polisen. Trots alla de år som gått hånar han mig fortfarande för att han kom undan. Han uppmanar mig att gå till polisen ”så får du se om cheap oakleys du blir trodd” Han förnekar med hög röst (för att barnen Fake Oakleys ska höra) ”DET HAR ALDRIG HÄNT” precis som han förnekade det i både tingsrätt och hovrätt under ed. Men när ingen hör viskar han ”Jag lyfte dig aldrig, du gick baklänges till soffan” alltså samma soffa där han försökte kväva mig. Där jag räddades av döttrarnas uppvaknande i sista stund. Den natten vakade jag vid datorn och letade rätt på ett hus för att fly med barnen. Istället för att åka till akuten och polisen. Det var mitt livs misstag.

I flera dagar satt jag framför datorn, ibland i sällskap med de äldsta barnen. För att försöka hitta en läkare som skulle behandla mig utan att polisanmäla misshandeln. För i min enfald visste jag inte att läkare inte har anmälningsplikt. cheap jerseys I min enfald tänkte jag att att det var viktigast att inte polisen hämtade pappa för att han var den enda som hade fast jobb. Jag hade bara timanställning, så jag valde att fly istället för att polisanmäla honom. Och jag var tvungen att rädda barnen så han inte skulle döda dem under något av sina utbrott. Därför letade jag efter en läkare istället för att ringa polisen. Därför satt jag framför datorn medan klar vätska rann ut mina öron. De var sönderpressade mot mitt huvud, medan han la sina händer runt min skalle och lyfte rakt upp. Jag tappade massor av hår den veckan. Smärtorna i det krossade brosket fanns kvar i nästan sex år efter misshandeln. Men eftersom jag inte gick till polisen gick han fri.

Inte nummer 187

Kvinnorna som födde mina barn skulle nicka igenkännande. Våldsamma äktenskap är inget ovanligt varken där eller här, en hel del slutar med döden. Vid den här tiden var Aftonbladets räkneverk uppe i 186 kvinnor som dödats av sina män under 2000-talet. Jag bestämde mig för att inte riskera att bli det 187:e.

http://dodadekvinnor.aftonbladet.se/2013/06/elva-nya-fall-nu-ar-de-212/

Därför flyttade jag 50 mil. Jag förlorade vårdnaden om mina barn för ingen trodde mig när jag äntligen berättade. Flytten betraktades av tingsrätten som om jag satte mina egna intressen framför barnens. Jag avslutade hela mitt liv, både släkt, syskon, vänner, fake oakleys bekanta, jobb. Jag började ett nytt liv, som sällan var lätt men äntligen var jag fri att tala, tänka, leva utan att nedvärderas, kommenteras och kontrolleras av en översittare i världsklass. Barnen dömdes till förvaring i draknästet, och fick växa upp omgivna av människor som hatar mig, förtalar mig och griper varje tillfälle till att skada mig. Hur barnen påverkades av att växa upp i våldet som fortsatte, mutade till tystnad med pengar och presenter efter varje utbrott det vet bara framtiden.

Inte död

Skulle de kvinnor som fött mina barn dömt mig som fredlös eller hade de förstått att en levande mamma är bättre än en död? Även om hon är fattig, hatad och utstött?

Efter tre år stämde jag pappan och återfick gemensam vårdnad om de två yngsta som ännu inte var vuxna. Jag var min egen advokat.

Jag är inte helt säker på att de kvinnor som födde mina barn skulle tacka mig för att jag uppfostrat deras barn till bra människor.

Men jag gjorde så gott jag kunde.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Pysanka – Påskägg med magiska krafter

Pysanka är inte vilket påskägg som helst. Det är ett ägg målat enligt Ukrainska traditionella färger och symboler med en speciell batikteknik.

Världens enda museum för Pysanka ligger i Ukraina. http://hutsul.museum/pysanka/

I museet finns mer än 10 000 målade Ukrainska ägg. Under sovjettiden förbjöds tillverkningen av Pysanka. Det ansågs vara en form av religionsutövning. Man förstörde alla gamla Pysankasamlingar. Traditionen med Pysanka levde kvar hos emigranter. Efter Ukrainas självständighet 1991 har intresset blommat upp igen i hemlandet.

Förkristna symboler tillägnade solguden Dazhbog, omvandlades efter Ukrainas kristnande år 988 till kristna symboler.

Ordet Pysanka härrör från pysaty, ”att skriva”. Mönstret görs med hjälp av färgbad och bivax. Man börjar med ett helvitt ägg som man dekorerar med smält bivax med hjälp av en speciell liten tratt på skaft kallad ”Kiska”. Därefter doppar man ägget i ett gult färgbad. Dekorerar med mera vax och doppar i nästa färgbad.. Till slut är ägget nästan täckt av bivax. När man smälter bort vaxet, i ugn eller med hjälp av stearinljus, framträder mönstret.

Ett Pysanka ska behandlas med respekt. Förutom många timmars möda med att måla de utsöka mönstren, är det ett bevis på vänskap och välgångsönskningar. Pysanka är kanske authentic nfl jerseys främst ett påskägg, men det ges bort som gåva under hela året.

Både symboler och färger hade magisk innebörd.

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Pysanka ges ungefär på samma sätt som vi skickar jul- och påskkort, vare sig vi gör det via mail, sms eller posten. Det ges även till brudpar med önskan om långt liv och många barn, som examenspresent och lyckönskningar inför framtiden. Nyfödda kan få ett Pysanka liksom speciella vänner.

Det är viktigt att minnas att Pysanki är laddade med magi som kommer att påverka mottagarens liv. Som ägare av ett Pysanka ska man bevara det väl. Skulle det gå sönder får det inte kastas som skräp eller i soporna. Istället ska man ta vara på varje skalbit och ge sig ut i naturen. Där ska man leta rätt på ett vattendrag och försiktigt placera skärvorna i det rinnande vattnet. Tanken är att strömmen ska ta med sig Pysanka på sin oakley outlet väg till havet, så de goda önskningarna sprider sig över världen. Inget går förlorat allting finns kvar.

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