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Och så kom sommaren 1967…

Sommaren i Gillberga förflöt ganska lugnt. Min lillasyster hade hunnit bli 2 år. Min lillebror var 6,5 och jag själv skulle fylla 11 år i september.

Nästan varje kväll gick vi och hämtade mjölk på Framgårn’, bondgården som låg närmast badplatsen nere vid sjön. I ladugården huserade arrendatorerna Sven och Svea, där de handmjölkade sina 6-7 kor varje kväll.

Själva gården ägdes av en gammal ensam dam med en tragisk familjehistoria. Familjen Halvordsen hade ett enda barn, en älskad son som dött alldeles för ung. Jag fick alla Rickards barn- och ungdomsböcker, en ofattbar skatt av Biggles, Bill-böcker och annan uppbygglig litteratur, märkta från förlaget som ”pojkböcker”.

Bill och Hitler 

Jag älskade dem. Var skulle hockey jerseys jag annars fått all min kunskap om skoluniformer, engelsk medelklass, en värld befolkad av husor, kokerskor och chaufförer? I en av de tidiga Bill-böckerna bestämmer sig Bill och hans gäng för att bilda en förening ”som i Tyskland”. Bill har läst om Hitler och hans framgångar under första delen av 1930-talet och tycker det verkar vara en kul idé. Bill och hans tre kompisar skaffar bruna skjortor och marscherar runt på gatorna i sin lilla engelska stad. De vuxna som ser dem skakar bara på huvudet.

Bill-böckerna skrevs av Richmal Crompton och började ges ut i Storbritannien redan på 1920-talet. De är fulla av fördomar, sanslösa uttalanden och många icke-politiskt-korrekta handlingar.  Med andra ord väldigt intressanta. Jag är glad att jag fick läsa dem utan censur. Precis som Fem-böckerna och annat spännande elände, innan de rättfärdiga slog till och censurerade dem i senare upplagor. Sanningen är ju den att varenda fördom finns kvar, man döljer dem bara bättre nu för tiden.

Utan hämningar

Sven och Svea var ett strävsamt par som varit gifta i evinnerliga tider. Båda var till åren komna och hörde inte så bra längre. Sven sa inte så mycket. Men Svea var desto mer verbal. Och högljudd. Och helt utan civilisationens hämningar, vilket var ganska udda för en bondhustru <a 26. href=”https://www.cheapnfljerseys1.com/” target=”_blank”>hockey jerseys född på 1800-talet.

Själv förstod jag inte alls vad Svea pratade om, men mina föräldrar glömde aldrig den kväll när Svea berättade att hon köpt en massagestav på postorder. Det här var sommaren 1967 och authentic nfl jerseys ordet dildo var ännu inte uppfunnet.

För ovanlighetens skull hade vi tagit bilen för att hämta mjölken. Vi skulle just åka hem och stod samlade vid bilen. Sven på förarsidan vid pappa och Svea på den andra sidan vid mamma, med oss barn runt omkring.

–  NU HAR JAG KÖPT MIG EN SÅN DÄR MASSAGESTAV, vrålade Svea så det ekade mellan uthusen.

Mamma nickade avvaktande, men log vänligt.

– Jaha….

Jag stod tyst bredvid och väntade på fortsättningen..

– JAG SKICKADE EFTER EN MED POSTEN! förklarade Svea.

Samtalet mellan pappa och Sven hade liksom avstannat.

– SVEN ÄR HELT ODUGLIG I SÄNGEN! OCH DET HAR HAN VART LÄNGE! förklarade Svea.

Det fanns inte mycket mer att säga. Vi tackade för oss och for hem.

Men pappa sa efteråt att han kände hur han rodnat ända upp i hårbotten.

Valparna

Det underbaraste på hela sommaren var valparna i Lillspeke. På en liten gård en bit bort efter sjön hade erstmal de uppfödning av strävhåriga taxvalpar. Mamma kände förstås människor i varenda hus, det var hennes barndomstrakter, så en dag åkte vi in och hälsade på. De väntade valpar vilken dag som helst. Mamma berättade att jag älskade djur. ”Du får komma hit när du vill och hälsa på valparna” sa Elin, som var mamma i huset. Jag kunde nästan inte andas av ren lycka.

Så kom äntligen dagen då valparna föddes. Fem små doftande valpar låg och diade sin stolta mamma Snuttan. Jag hade aldrig sett så små hundar förut. Jag satte mig försiktigt på golvet och blev kvar där i en timme.

Valparnas lugna diande, den snälla tiken och att jag fick vara ifred med dem kändes fantastiskt. Jag var där nästan varje dag hela sommaren. Jag satt på marken i hundgården och hade valparna i knäet, de kröp och kravlade överallt. jag såg dem växa dag för dag. När de började bita mig som valpar gör, gjorde det ingenting. Jag lät dem. Det var först när de började bli starkare och bet stenhårt som cheap oakleys jag flyttade upp på hundkojans tak. Där tog jag små pauser från deras tänder, men var ändå lycklig.

Gottfrid frågade mina föräldrar  vi inte ville köpa en av valparna, de kostade 300 kronor. Men vi skulle inte ha en jakthund sa pappa. Och jag förstod. Dessutom hade vi Måns.

 

 

 

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Fjärde klass

Hösten 1966 började jag fjärde klass i Hole skola, som låg ungefär 5 minuter bort från vår ytterdörr. Det var slut med bussåkandet. Om jag inte minns fel började vi vid 8 eller 8.30.  Anledningen till att jag inte minns är att jag gick hemifrån vid 6.45 eller åtminstone före 7 varje dag. När klockan Wholesale China Jerseys var 7 var jag redan på plats på övervåningen i skolan där vi hade vårt klassrum. Städerskan kom redan klockan 6 så jag kunde ta mig in genom porten.

Sedan inväntade jag de andra barnen som en efter en anlände till skolan, ungefär en timme senare. Jag hörde stora hallen nere fyllas av eleverna i klass fem och sex. Mina egna klasskamrater var de enda som kom upp för trappan och det var svaret på varför jag bad mamma väcka mig senast 6.15 varje morgon.

Visserligen fick jag glåpord slängda i ansiktet direkt varje morgon, men för de mesta fick jag vara fysiskt ifred om inte någon var på särskilt dåligt humör och tog ut det på mig med knuffar och slag. Killarna hade växt till sig över sommaren, det kände jag på hårdheten i deras pojknävar.

Gatlopp

Men det var ändå ingenting mot det gatlopp som väntade mig om jag försov mig och kom till skolan samma tid som alla andra. I stora hallen nere väntade sadisterna på nästa färska offer. Och det var alltid jag. Leif Bengtsson minns jag speciellt för hans djupa hårda slag i ryggen. Han stank svett och hat när han ivrigt påhejad av resten av mobben slog så mycket han orkade. Jag stängde av och kämpade mig fram mot trappan till övervåningen. Runt omkring gapskrattade sadisterna lustfyllt medan slog mig mellan sig så hårt de kunde.

Man försover sig sällan igen efter ett sådant wake-up-call. Mamma var bekymrad över att jag fick sova alldeles för lite. Jag somnade sent, för jag var ju tvungen att vänta ut pappa för det mesta innan jag kunde gå på toa. Jag hade alltid ont i magen, (numer förstår jag att det var ångest och ren skräck.) Mamma visste att jag egentligen inte var någon morgonmänniska, ändå gjorde hon som jag bad och väckte mig vid 6-tiden varje morgon.

Men för att vara snäll lät hon ibland bli att väcka mig så tidigt, utan väntade till 7…

Det var fruktansvärt. Jag flög upp ur sängen helt vild av ångest. Jag visste vad som väntade om sadisterna hade hunnit till skolan innan jag hann in och uppför trappan. Jag åt inget, jag lät inte mamma fläta om mitt hår, jag slet till mig skolväskan och störtade iväg. Att jag hann fram först var en fråga om liv och död.

Ekonomiskt vanvett

Det var nog i fyran det märktes allt mer att min familj levde på fattigdomsgränsen. Det fanns helt enkelt inte pengar till mer än det allra nödvändigaste. Mamma kunde trolla med matpengarna, men ingen kunde göra av med inkomsterna lika snabbt som min pappa. Han drack inte, han spelade inte  fast båda rökte hemrullade cigaretter eller färdigrullade Ritz.

Min pappa var fullständigt hopplös närt det gällde ekonomi. Han var en drömmare som borde ha satts cheap authentic jerseys under förmyndare när det gällde pengar. Det drabbade min lojala mamma oerhört hårt. Det drabbade alla oss barn varje dag. Min pappa var en person som var älskad i alla läger. Av arbetskamrater, elever, grannar, bekanta och i princip alla människor han mötte tyckte om honom. Han var underhållande, generös (intill vanvett), dansant och en mycket bra organisatör.  En skicklig hantverkare.

Parallellt utnyttjade han varje människa han överhuvudtaget kunde låna pengar av utan åtskillnad. Han hade gjort samma sak hela livet, utan att ha de minsta onda avsikter. Pappa hade bara ”ont om slantar” och det var en konstant brist. Det här gjorde att hans egen släkt tog avstånd från honom. Efter pappas död pratade jag för första gången med hans bror Holger som var 12 år yngre. Jag hade aldrig träffat honom.  Holger sa i telefon: ”Vi blev helt enkelt tvungna att hålla oss ifrån honom för att inte dras in i hans ekonomiska vansinne. Jag hoppas vid Gud att ingen av er har ärvt han totala brist på ekonomiskt förstånd.” Jag hann aldrig träffa Holger som dog året efter.

Kalle och monsterlånet

Det fanns de som höll ut trots detta. Kalle på västkusten var en av dem. Egentligen var han en av min mammas vänner sedan de som 20- och 22-åringar hyrt rum av samma hyresvärdinna i Uppsala. Kalle läste vid universitetet och min mamma var föreståndare för två mjölkbarer. Kalle fick äta på kredit och deras vänskap varade livet ut. Trots att hon träffade och gifte sig med min pappa.

Kalle gifte sig också och fick en son. När Kalles lilla son var några år gammal arbetade båda föräldrarna som lärare. Kalle hade knappt 500 cheap oakley sunglasses kr i månadslön och hans fru Maj ännu mindre. Då fick min pappa extra dåligt med slantar. Kalle lånade honom 9 (NIO) månadslöner år 1959, pengar som Kalle naturligtvis aldrig såg skymten av igen. Pengarna hjälpte egentligen ingenting. Året efter gjorde pappa konkurs och vi förlorade allt vi ägde.

Under de kommande 30 åren berörde Kalle inte lånet med ett enda ord, trots att familjerna umgicks regelbundet. Han berättade historien för mig något år efter att min pappa dött. Och Kalle hade inte sagt något då heller, om jag inte fört saken på tal.

Jag hade själv lagt in ungefär hälften av min lön i pappas hushåll i åtminstone 13 år, från det jag började jobba som 18-åring tills han dog. (Mina syskon förstod aldrig varifrån deras kläder, mycket mat, lampor, gardiner, bildäck, hushållsmaskiner m.m. kom ifrån. De tror än idag att pappa betalade allt. ) Jag berättade alltså för Kalle precis som det hade varit och det var då han berättade sin egen lånehistoria. Med förbehållet att JAG absolut inte полиции skulle känna att jag var skyldig honom pengar.

Fattigdom

Under åren som kom fick jag höra fler historier om pappa och hans ständiga penningbrist. Men pappas stora charm gjorde att han klarade sig helskinnad varenda gång. Med åren blev Pappa något av expert på att hitta nya utvägar. Att aldrig betala förrän efter tredje påminnelsen var en självklarhet. Snabblånen hann att komma de sista åren av hans liv och slukade de sista örena av arvet.

Allt det här gjorde i alla fall att vi aldrig hade några pengar varken då jag växte upp eller åren efter. Vi barn samlade tomglas och sålde för att få godis. Än idag har jag blick för varenda tomburk och det händer aldrig att jag kastar en flaska med pant. Jag sålde jultidningar både i andra, tredje och fjärde klass. Jag fick en bok om fåglar i premie. Gäsp. Jag köpte mitt toalettbord med tillhörande stol. Och jag har kvar dem än.

Men det syntes och kändes att vi inte hade råd. Hela tiden. Jag minns exempelvis ingen julmat, utom fake oakleys risgrynsgröten som var god och skinkan och sillen som jag aldrig åt. Vi hade varken köttbullar, prinskorv eller någonting av allt det folk brukar ha. Jag älskade nötter, men en jul fanns det inte pengar så mamma undrade om vi kunde klara oss utan? Jag svarade ”Ja” men ångrade mig bittert när jag gick till familjen Melin och såg deras nötskål. Jag sa ”Mamma har glömt att köpa nötter…” Och den snälla tant Lillemor förstod precis. Hon fyllde en påse med nötter och gav mig. Julen var räddad.

Lillebror

Fattigdomen blev ännu en anledning att ge sig på oss. Min lillebror började skolan 1967, när det fortfarande var nästan sex månader kvar tills han skulle fylla sju. Mamma försökte få hans skolstart uppskjuten ett år, men det var viktigare att få fyllda klasser än elever som mådde bra på den tiden. Min lillebror fick ett helvete. Det fanns nämligen en taxichaufför som hade sex söner. Åtminstone två av dem var slagskämpar och mobbare. Man sa att de fick stryk hemma. Det tog de igen på andra barn. Ronny gick i klassen över min bror. Han var fet, stark och skoningslös. Det två åren med Ronny på samma skola har min bror burit med sig hela livet.

Men nu är det fortfarande bara hösten 1966 och jag går till skolan varje dag vid 06.45.

Hat

Varje dag hände något. Ibland var det mer. Filmförevisning i biblioteket. Alla stolar ställda i rader. Jag sitter i andra raden när jag  känner att någon nuddar min axel. Jag vänder mig om. Leif Bengtsson sitter bakom och blåser snus rakt in i mina ögon. Det svider som eld. Alla skrattar. Någon slår mig i ryggen som i förbigående. Dagens smäll utdelad. Alla mobbare har ett visst system. Svaghet triggar dem. Passivt motstånd väcker deras aggresivitet. Alla ska ha in minst ett slag på det feta äcklet varje dag.

Jag hatar dem. Maktlös, osynlig för alla utom för sadisterna genomlever jag mina dagar i fjärde klass.

Taler finnt

Men hemma väntar min lilla katt Måns. Mamma brukar ge honom mat och släppa in honom i mitt rum innan jag låser dörren igen. Kvällarna och nätterna tillbringar jag med  världslitteraturens stora klassiker, romaner från första halvan av 1900-talet och mängder av barn- och ungdomsböcker. Tillsammans med Måns, som är bara kärlek. Ingen kramar mig, ingen tröstar mig, ingen tycker om mig. Utom Måns. Jag kan fortfarande känna hans värme och tassar mot mitt bröst.

Mitt bokläsande ger mig stort ordförråd, långt utöver min ålder och framför allt mycket större ordförråd än alla jämnåriga. Ytterligare en anledning att hata mig. Jag bestämmer mig för att ALDRIG prata som mina skolkamrater.

”Du taler sä finnt” vräker de ur sig, dalbymålet den sista utposten mot omvärldens inflytande.

Jag gör allt för att finslipa mitt tal så att jag inte ska smittas av deras vidriga språk.

Jag lyckas ganska bra.

På minussidan ligger att jag får svårt att lära mig andra främmande språk, eftersom jag beslutat djupt i min själ att inte ta till mig andra dialekter.

Det tog de också ifrån mig, förutom min barndom.

 

 

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Green Bay Packers Problems in 2012The Green Bay Packers once again ended the 2012 football season miserably to the San Francisco 49ers in the playoffs. I watched most of the first half over the Internet, but mercifully my Internet connection was lost before the 49ers and their quarterback Colin Kaepernick ran all over my Packers with zone read option plays. Place your hands in front of your chest and slide the towel Cheap mlb Jerseys out to your left side. Push your butt back as you do this and stop when your right thigh parallels the floor. The effect is a new round of legal fighting that could delay the final result in this case for years. The cheap oakleys end result is unknowable at this time.. Shelby Lane also took her oakleys outlet vision to Hollywood and combined medicine with humor in a unique format for television, known as ‘SECOND OPINION, AMERICA’S HEALTHCARE cheap oakleys TEAM”. She produced a videotape about domestic violence, which aired on Comcast Cable and won an award for creative excellence in healthcare at the 1995 United States International Film and Video Festival. Speaking of footballers, the German, former Aston Villa player, Thomas Hitzsperger, became the highest profile footballer to be openly gay in January this year he told the German newspaper, Die Zeit: ‘It’s been a long and difficult process only in the last few years have I realised that I preferred living with a man.’ The 31 year old retired from the game in 2013 because of injuries. He said that he had thought about coming out earlier while he was still playing for Wolfsburg, but was warned jordan sale against it. With an undefeated season, the timing couldn’t be better. While $250 is a chunk of change, fans like Kristen Mossing know lots of people who want to buy a share.. One day you’re swollen, a few days later you’ve deflated again. The good news is that you can tame your tummy wholesale jerseys without making too many changes to your lifestyle. Inditex’s entire structure is designed to allow it to flourish in today’s environment. Opening fewer stores but having oakleys outlet them in prime locations allows Inditex to avoid having a sprawling and inefficient supply chain. In other words, you should work out your ROI based on how many games, matches, or rounds you wish to wager on and how much you bet on each. A substantial understanding of the return on your online live sports betting investment is instrumental to creating a profit.. The Pats were leading 45 24 before Tom Brady touched the ball in the fourth quarter yet he remained in the game, orchestrating two more touchdown cheap oakleys sunglasses drives. The last drive was capped by the extra point play that resulted in Gronkowski’s injury. Digging the past we can see that the wholesale football jerseys first neon sign appeared in France in 1910 at Grand Palais. The display caught people’s attention in fact, the effect was so bright ray ban sunglasses and catchy that other countries took notice.

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Tredje klass

Det blev allt svårare att leva, både i skolan och inte minst hemma. Tack vare mamma klarade jag mig från en skoldag till den andra, men jag hade ont i magen jämt. Vilket jag blev så van vid att det var först som vuxen jag förstod hur ont jag hade haft. Mamma tog mig till doktorn som utförde en förödmjukande undersökning och konstaterade att allt var bra. Jag hade svårt att röra mig, springa, eller att gå över ett golv.

Vad ingen visste var att jag egentligen var ganska vig, men att jag slutade att röra mig för att inte dra uppmärksamheten och mobbarnas blickar till mig. Mina muskler förkortades av alla slag och glåpord. Vuxna som mindes mig från min barndom berättade senare att de alltid hade uppfattat mig som sur. ”Du var lika sur jämt”.

Behärskad

Jag var inget charmfullt barn. Jag varken log eller grät eller pratade eller lekte när någon såg på. Jag utvecklade konsten att behärska mig oavsett vad som hände. Om jag glömde mig och drog lite på mungiporna var det alltid någon som la märke till det och vrålade till alla andra ”Se nu står det feta aset och flinar!” Jag kan se Per-Olof Olsson/Stenströms fräkniga ansikte med den vidöppna munnen framför mig. Och genast formerade sig angriparna och roade sig med att verbalt och fysiskt kränka mig så långt deras ordförråd och kreativitet räckte.

När vi diskuterade om vi skulle ha barn när vi blev stora kom frågan till mig. Jag sa att jag ville också ha barn när jag blev stor. Genast vände sig Roger mot mig och med ansiktet förvridet av förakt Cheap Jerseys väste han ”Vem i helvete skulle vilja knulla ett sådant förbannat äckel som du!?” Det var en av de anmärkningar som la grunden till mitt självhat och självförakt längre fram. Roger var själv mobbad och ville säkert knipa några pluspoäng hos dem högre upp i mobbinghierarkin, men att jag minns anmärkningen över 50 år senare kan ju vara en påminnelse om hur djupt man kan såra en annan människa på ett ögonblick. Idag är Roger gift och rektor så man kan konstatera att han själv fick sex och slipper bli mobbad som chef för hela skolan. Jag hoppas att Roger fick barn, för jag är säker på att han nog skulle vara en bra pappa trots allt. För när Roger inte var upptagen med att hata mig, såg och hörde jag hur trevlig han var mot andra. Roger hade så svårt med sin allergi med många sjukvårdsbesök, att han nog borde blivit lite ödmjuk. Och älskat sina barn, även om de inte blivit perfekta. Bosse blev Rogers allra bästa vän och de hängde ihop i alla väder. Det var tur för Roger att cheap football jerseys Bosse kom till klassen.

Kasperdockan

Fröken G avskydde mig verkligen. Det var ömsesidigt. Ingenting jag gjorde dög, oavsett vad det gällde. Sillpuddingskriget var en institution. Lika säkert som att jag skulle vägra sillpudding, lika säkert var det att fröken G skulle tvinga mig att sitta kvar i matsalen framför sillpuddingen tills bussen skulle gå. Våren -65 skulle vi göra kasperdockor till pjäsen på skolavslutningen. Häpnadsväckande nog fick jag tilldelat mig ”prinsessan”.

Vi blandade klister och pappersmassa till en deg och så formade vi huvuden som sattes att torka på en pappersstrut nedstucken i en flaska. Fröken G tog vägen förbi mig och bestämde att ”prinsessan” skulle ha knut. Alltså satte fröken fast en boll på mitt dockhuvud utan att diskutera saken med mig.  Hon satte på en boll till näsa också. Huvudet sattes att torka.

Veckan därpå var det dags att måla huvudena. Jag var inte så duktig, men fick hållas. (Stela, skräckslagna människor med ont i magen är inte så kreativa). Jag målade förstås håret med knuten gult och ansiktet skärt, med blå ögon och en röd mun. Prinsessan hade samma färger som jag. Ingen av oss var söt.

Veckan därpå skulle vi sy kläder. Jag som bara älskade djur, hade aldrig sytt dockkläder. Vi fick välja bland massor av tyglappar av alla slag. Jag valde ljusgul mjuk frotté. Frotté var nytt i mitten av 1960-talet. Jag sydde en mjuk klänning som min hand fick plats i. När det blev dags för pjäsen sydde fröken G en ny klänning i blått blankt tyg med en spets nertill. Så gjorde hon en krona och satte runt knuten. fake oakleys Fröken G var verkligen mycket bättre än jag på att göra kasperdockor. Jag tror att hon egentligen använde mig som ett alibi för att få göra prinsess-dockan helt själv. Clash Royale HackClash of Clans Hack

Mamma <3

Jag hatade matte (Tack vare min pappa och hans X-ekvation) Min mamma vars matte härstammade från 1930-talet kunde inte ställa upp ”rätt” men hon lärde sig. Sedan räknade hon ut mina tal efter att ha frågat ”Visst kan du det här?” och sedan skrev jag av hennes tal. Mamma räddade mitt liv, inte bara då utan gång på gång. Mamma gjorde inte som alla andra, hon var inte som någon annan. Och just därför räddade hon mig och fick mig att orka ännu en dag i helvetet.

Från det jag fyllt 8 ungefär kunde jag och min pappa inte längre vistas i samma rum, utan att jag sa eller gjorde något fel som fick honom att få ett vansinnesutbrott. Jag menar vredesutbrott som saknade all behärskning. Han gjorde mig skräckslagen. I många många år drömde jag mardrömmar om att människor i min närhet plötsligt förvandlades till livsfarliga odjur. Det är inte svårt att hitta källan till de mardrömmarna.

Det var nog hösten 1965 som jag fick en egen nyckel till mitt rum av mamma. Hon gav mig den och sa så här:

”Nu får du den här nyckeln. Den går till ditt rum. Du ska vara noga med att hålla reda på den. När pappa blir arg ska du SKYNDA dig in på ditt rum och LÅSA dörren. Du får INTE öppna dörren vad han än säger eller vad han än gör för då kommer han att SLÅ dig!”

– Kommer han att slå mig? frågade jag

”Ja, tro mig, Han kommer att slå dig. Om du bara visste hur många gånger jag gått emellan när han har försökt att ge dig stryk” sa mamma och suckade.

(Pappa kallade det tips ”juling”. Det kan nog vara norska.)

Starkare

Mamma räddade mitt liv många gånger.

Om mina lärare sett hur snabb jag kunde vara in på mitt rum så hade jag aldrig haft etta i gymnastik.

Det kunde gå veckor innan jag tillbringade tid med familjen. För det mesta hann jag få mat, men bäst av allt var de många kvällskurserna då pappa var kursledare och borta till 9-tiden på kvällen. replica oakleys Då kunde vi leva. När mina småsyskon somnat satt cheap jerseys jag och ritade medan mamma läste en bok. Jag var inte så bra men med mamma blev jag bättre.  Hon såg på mina teckningar och sa ”Du ska komma ihåg att vad andra än säger, så tycker jag alltid om dina teckningar. Jag kommer alltid tycka att du är väldigt duktig”. Eftersom mammas ord var det enda beröm jag  någonsin fick under hela min uppväxt, höll de mig uppe över ytan Wholesale NFL Jerseys så jag kunde dra ännu ett andetag för att överleva ännu en dag.

Minnet av mammas ord gjorde mig starkare då och ännu idag. Jag hade en gång en mamma och det har gjort hela hela skillnaden.

Nyckeln

Att ha en nyckel är också skillnad. I princip varenda dag inträffade något som drev min pappa från vettet och jag låste in mig. Sedan stod jag vid fönstret och lyssnade när han bultade på dörren och med mörk och hotfull röst försökte förmå mig att lyda.  ”ÖPPNA! ÖPPNA DÖRREN!” Han slog på dörren och jag stod vid fönstret beredd på att ta mig ut om dörren skulle gå sönder. Jag ställde alltid mina skor under fönstret så jag skulle ha något på fötterna om jag måste fly. Men dörren höll och jag slapp bli slagen.

Så småningom tröttnade han, men jag kunde ju inte gå ut ur rummet, för då satte bråket igång igen.. Värst var det att inte kunna gå på toaletten. Kissnödigheten höll mig vaken. När jag smög mig ut efter midnatt kunde jag kvalat in som inbrottstjuv. Jag är fortfarande väldigt bra på att ta mig fram tyst om det behövs. Jag är heller inte rädd för mörker. För mig är mörkret ett skydd.

Mot bakgrund av allt det här var det skönt när jag kunde inleda försäljning av jultidningar igen. Jag var ute varenda kväll, hur sent som helst.

Jag längtade aldrig hem.

”Those privileged to touch the lives of children
should constantly be aware that their impact on a single child
may affect a multitude of others a thousand years from now.”/okänd

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Sommaren 1965

Min lillasyster föddes på sportlovet. 2017-01-22 Det var en tisdag då jag vaknade upp och fick höra att hon kommit. Jag hade önskat mig en lillasyster och kände mig allsmäktig. Först fick jag den bror jag ville ha, sedan kom nästa som jag också beställt.

Mamma var mycket trött, men hon blev inte sjuk den här gången. Den 2 maj fyllde mamma 45 och min syster var lite drygt tre månader. Mamma brukade sy mina klänningar och annat jag behövde, men det här året bad hon pappa köpa en färdig examensklänning när han skulle åka på skolresa med sin klass.

Pappa kom hem cheap jerseys med en klänning som var ljust gul-vit i smala spetsränder. Som dekoration i midjan satt två diamantknappar. Det var den elegantaste klänning jag någonsin ägt. Det var en en vuxen damklänning i storlek 38, som mamma fållade upp så den skulle ray ban sunglasses passa mig. Den kostade 100 kr år 1965.

Lillasyster

Det var mycket spännande att få en liten syster och jag var oerhört stolt över henne. Vår grannfru som undervisade flickorna i nionde klass i barnkunskp fick låna min lillasyster när jag var i skolan. N’är jag kom hem och fick höra det blev jag rätt arg. Det kändes som om de tagit något ifrån mig.

– Ni får aldrig mer låna ut min cheap oakleys syster! Hon är MIN! Behöver tant S.  en baby i skolan får hon skaffa sig en själv, påpekade jag svartsjukt.

Jag bevakade min syster som en hök och älskade henne över alla gränser. Hon var otroligt söt.

I maj samma år fick vi en liten svart kattunge som döptes till Måns. Det blev min katt. Måns var ingen vanlig bondkatt. Han var en kvarts siames och pratade med långa intensiva jamanden. Dessutom ville han vara nära mig jämt. Jag som var helt svältfödd på kärlek och närhet, fick inte bara ett husdjur utan en vän som älskade mig utan förbehåll.  De långa ensamma timmarna på mitt rum fylldes plötsligt av liv. När jag låg och läste på min säng hoppade Måns  upp och dök upp framför min bok för att stryka sig mot mitt ansikte.  Jag som inte fått en kram på flera år hade äntligen någon som valde mig och var nära.

Lycklig sommar

Sommaren i Gillberga blev lycklig. Min lillasyster fick visserligen Röda Hund men den var snabbt avklarad. På midsommardagen döptes hon i Gillberga kyrka. Efteråt var det kaffe och tårta hos mormor på Närbyn. Det är lustigt att tänka på att jag sitter lika nära mormors stora målade porslinsskåp i kväll som jag gjorde den midsommardagen för 50 år sedan.  Ett halvt århundrade. Alla kring bordet är borta utom min lillasyster, min lillebror och jag.

Sedan några år tillbaka hyrde  vi Bygninga, huvudbyggnaden till en gammal gård i Rotvik, i närheten av sjön Botungen där min pappa sommaren 1965 byggde båthuset som han rodde över sjön. På kvällarna gick vi till Framgården och hämtade mjölk hos Sven och Svea som arrenderade mark och ladugården där de handmjölkade sina kor. Ibland såg vi älgar på Fake Oakleys gärdena runt gården när vi kom hem med mjölken.

Vi badade i den lilla viken invid vägen och mamma brukade använda den allmänna tvättgrytan som stod bakom några buskar. Långa sommardagar lekte vi i vattnet medan mamma tvättade och hängde. Det kändes som om solen sken hela sommaren 1965.

Vi hyrde bara nedervåningen i huset. I köket fanns vedspis och ett kylskåp. En diskbänk utan rinnande vatten och ett stort kallt skafferi. Vatten hämtade mamma i brunnen som låg uppe i slänten ovanför gården. I det största rummet sov pappa. Mamma, min syster och jag delade på två sängar i lilla kammaren. Jag minns inte alls var min bror låg.

Valparna

Om man följde landsvägen lite längre så kom man till Lillspeke på vänster hand. Där bodde Gottfrid, Elin och hennes dotter Karin som var snäll men mycket äldre än jag. De hade kennel och födde upp strävhåriga taxar. Jag gick dit varenda dag och lät de små valparna klättra på mig i hundgården. För mycket av det bästa kan vara alldeles underbart. När de växte till sig och började bitas tog jag paus då och då på taket till hundkojan.

Ibland blev jag bjuden på middag av den snälla tant Elin som hade rött hår och fräknar precis överallt.  När jag kom hem berättade jag för mamma att jag fått löja med äggsås. Men det var gös.

Tvärs över vägen från Lillspeke bodde en flicka hos sin mormor. Hon var 8 år och hade fått flytta till mormor för att de retades med henne i skolan. Hon var nämligen ut som 18. Numer kunde man ha hejdat hennes för tidiga pubertet, men 1965 kunde man bara stå maktlös och se på hur alla kroppsliga vuxentillbehör hamnade på sina rätta ställen. Hon var lika lång som jag och jämngammal med mig, men kändes mycket äldre. I allt hon var betedde hon sig som en vuxen. Hon diskuterade vanliga saker med min mamma som om replica oakleys de varit vuxna som lät mig sitta med vid bordet.

Hennes mormor hade för övrigt varit förlovad med min mammas morbror Artur i sin gröna ungdom, men пятен» det rann ut i sanden så jag fick inte prata om det.

Mellan jag var 7 tills jag var nästan 14  levde jag två liv. Skolterminerna handlade bara om överlevnad från en dag till den andra. Det verkliga livet började med sommarlovet och resan till Gillberga. En plats där jag var som alla andra.

 

 

 

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Sång och hembryggt äppelvin

Det var hösten 1964 som pappa bestämde sig för att göra äppelvin. Harry Edelmans ”Vinboken” införskaffades. Lådvis med äpplen köptes in. Inte en låda utan många. Jag minns hur stapeln med äppellådor nådde högt över mitt huvud.

Alla familjemedlemmar som kunde hantera en kniv kallades in till vinberedningen. Det var alltså pappa, jag och i viss mån mamma som samlades kring fruktbaljorna med äpplen. Varenda äpple synades och skars i bitar. Det tog en evighet. Pappa uppmuntrade mig. ”När du blir tio år ska du få smaka det här vinet”. Jag skulle snart fylla åtta. Tio år kändes lika avlägset som månen. Dessutom hade jag ingen uppfattning om vin överhuvudtaget. Men jag skar mina äpplen, kväll efter kväll. Vinhinkar och så småningom damejeanner fylldes. De senare försågs med jäsrör fyllda med vatten och en spännande ploppande utbröt.

Efter en tid tystnade vinet och alltsammans tappades på flaska. Sedan var det bara att vänta.

Hembränt

Normalt sett var förekomsten av alkohol minimal hemma hos oss. Varken min mamma eller pappa var någonsin påverkad så det märktes, ens när det var fest. När jag blev äldre fick jag höra historierna från Norge där hembränningsapparaterna stod och puttrade i de flesta hem. Jag fick alltid känslan av att det var spänningen och nyfikenheten som fick folk att tillverka brännvin.  I Fagernes lyckades länsman och min pappa vid ett tillfälle släcka belysningen i större delen av samhället när de skulle testa en ny apparat.

Nu bodde vi i Sysslebäck, fjärran från det vilda Norge och alla hembränningsexperter. Men vi hade vin. Faktum är att pappa tillverkade så mycket vin hösten 1964, att den fake oakleys sista flaskan tömdes på midsommarafton 1980. Livet stormade omkring oss, barn föddes och människor dog. Vi flyttade flera gånger. Men vinet klarade allt och fick genom åren en allt vackrare gyllene färg.

Mina föräldrar hade en glad och trevlig vänkrets där man oftast träffades hemma hos varandra på middagar. Vi barn fick alltid följa med och det gjorde att alla i familjen såg fram emot middagsbjudningarna.

Mat och retorik

När vi själva skulle ha gäster lagade wholesale jerseys mamma mat hela dagen och pappa skrev tal. Han var en talangfull och begåvad talare. Pappa  kunde inte bara hålla tal, utan också skriva långa rim på våra julklappar.  Mamma å sin sida hade redan som 21-åring varit föreståndarinna för två av Sandrews mjölkbarer i Uppsala. Hon var utbildad inom allt som rörde hushåll, inte minst matlagning och kunde trolla fram en festmåltid av nästan vad som helst. Hon var snabb och otålig, så det var bara genom att se på och lyssna som jag lärde mig laga mat. Mamma tyckte inte om när jag experimenterade. Att leka med mat var otänkbart. Om man skulle baka eller laga mat måste det också ätas upp.

Vi hade varken radio eller grammofon.  Däremot hade vi många visböcker. Alla våra gäster var musikaliska.  Jag minns hur jag låg i min säng och lyssnade till deras sånger medan kvällen led mot sitt slut.  Evert Taube, skillingtryck, folkvisor, sjömansvisor…

Sjunga

Både mamma och pappa kunde sjunga. Ibland när familjen var på bilutflykt eller på väg ner till sommarlivet i Gillberga där mormor bodde, brukade vi cheap jerseys sjunga i bilen. Pappa kom ihåg varenda versrad. Mamma kunde ha varit bättre. Men fiolspelandet på Ingesund och de förhatliga pianolektionerna hon genomled som tonåring hämmade henne bachiller en hel del. Men på våra bilresor sjöng alla med.

Minnet av sångerna, festerna och alla glada gäster i mitt föräldrahem tillhör mina goda barndomsminnen.  Snart skulle sångerna Cheap Jerseys from china tystna och musiken dö ut.

I höstas bestämde jag mig för att göra äppelvin, 50 år efter förra försöket. Min dotter och jag plockade frukt från vilda äppelträd. Jag tog min nyinköpta Edelmans Vinbok, den 41:a upplagan och satte igång. Det är verkligen en helt annan känsla att bereda vin som vuxen. Man kan se en början och ett slut på jobbet.

Vinet är tappat på flaskor. Nu är det bara att vänta.

P.s. Jag fick aldrig smaka vinet som jordan sale tioåring. Lika bra det.

 

 

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Andra klass – Jag börjar knacka dörr

Hösten 1964 började jag andra klass och det som redan var en prövning blev ännu värre. Vi fick en ny fröken. Den väna prästfrun ersattes av fröken G. Sillpuddingskriget togs till en ny nivå, så även mobbingen och utfrysningen. Då har vi ändå inte nämnt förnedringen i klassrummet som förfinades till perfektion under våra två år med fröken G.

Ted Larsson och Ulla Jönsson flyttade. Bosse Larsson och Roger Pedersen kom nya i klassen. Roger var mycket allergisk och bara det gjorde honom ovanlig. Jag hade aldrig hört talas om att vara allergisk förut. Stackars Roger fick 40 sprutor i ryggen för att de skulle se vad han var allergisk mot. Dagen efter satt Lasse på Rogers rygg där han låg och grät i en av rabatterna kring skolhuset. Lasse slog och slog med ett hånflin på läpparna. Vi andra stod runt omkring och såg på. Även jag, medan det gjorde ont i hela mig så synd tyckte jag om Roger. Men precis som alla andra gjorde jag ingenting. Jag var rätt lättad över att de hade någon annan att slå för en gångs skull.

Skvaller

Men mobbningen av Roger gick över. Det gjorde den inte när det gällde mig. Rast efter rast blev jag slagen och hånad. Ingen vuxen syntes till. Fröknarna tillbringade sina raster i lärarrummets värme och skydd. Alla elever var tvungna att gå ut.

En rast var det särskilt svårt och jag smet in i kapprummet. Mina mobbare vågade inte följa efter, så stor var respekten för lärarna. Jag vågade heller inte stanna i kapprummet utan lov, så jag knackade. Fröken G öppnade.

– Vad vill du?!

– Snälla fröken, kan jag få stanna inne? De slår mig så mycket om jag går ut…

Hon tittade på mig med djupt förakt och medan hon tuggade ut munnen sa hon:

– Kom inte här och skvallra!

Så stängde hon dörren.

Och jag vågade inte annat än gå ut. Mina mobbare väntade utanför porten och jublande kastade de sig över mig igen.

Det var en lång rast. När vi gick in igen hade de slitit sönder min mössa, dragit loss mina hårband, som ändå var stadigt inflätade i mina flätor och jag blödde från läppen.

Fröken G kastade inte en blick på mig när vi fick gå in i klassrummet. Jag minns inte cheap nfl jerseys om det var en sillpuddingsdag, för i så fall hände den här misshandeln på förmiddagen. Alla dagar med sillpudding tillbringade jag eftermiddagen i matsalen i väntan på att få åka hem med bussen.

Svarta tavlan

Jag kunde fortfarande inte läsa eller skriva alla bokstäver i alfabetet. Det var jag inte ensam om. Flera av pojkarna var sena med att skriva ordentligt. En av de övningar vi fick var att skriva samma bokstav i varannan ruta på ett helt ark papper. Vi satt i lugn och ro och skrev när fröken G slog ner som en ljungande blixt. Den här gången var hennes offer Mats. Hon slet åt sig han papper och visade upp det för hela klassen:

– Se här vad Mats har gjort istället för att skriva!!!!! Fröken G svepte med pappret runt omkring så alla kunde se.

– Vilken elak, dum och lat pojke du är!

Fröken G kastade pappret på bänken framför Mats.

– Nu skriver du ordentligt i alla rutor!

Mats satt slokörad kvar och försökte göra rätt.

Och vad hade Mats gjort för att hängas ut?

Han hade kanske tröttnat efter att ha skrivit halva pappret. Sedan hade han börjat rita en lite gubbe i de tre nästa rutorna. Det var allt.

Vi kallades fram för att skriva på svarta tavlan med jämna mellanrum. De mer duktiga flickorna fick mycket beröm. Dit hörde inte jag.

– Skriv ”över”!

Jag skrev ”ÖVÖR”.

– Fel! Gör om det igen!

Jag suddade ut och eftersom jag inte visste  vad som var fel skrev jag ”ÖVÖR” igen.

– Men SER du inte att det är FEL?! Gör om det igen!

Och jag gjorde om det igen.

Efter fyra nya felskrivningar krökte fröken G hånfullt på sina fylliga läppar och vände sig till klassen:

– Kan någon komma upp och visa henne hur det ska stavas?

Jag minns inte vilken flicka som fick chansen att briljera, men jag minns att det var rättstavat.

Jag fick gå ner och sätta mig igen.

Men varför jag inte kunde stava var det ingen som brydde sig om.

X – en gång och aldrig mer

Jag hatade inte räkning förrän min pappa skulle hjälpa mig med läxan och bestämde sig för att jag skulle lära mig att räkna med X. Första räkneläxan någonsin. Jag förstod ingenting. Men inte en enda gång mer fick han se skymten av mina läxor, aldrig mer i hela mitt liv. Jag hade hellre bränt upp både räkneböcker och alla andra läxböcker än att låta honom ”hjälpa” mig igen.

Han insats födde en livslång motvilja mot matematik, rättare sagt drabbades jag av det man nu för tiden kallar ”Matte-ångest”. Jag är hur snabb som helst när det gäller huvudräkning. Jag kan läsa ritningar, formler, recept, mått och omvandlingstabeller.., Kort sagt kan jag det mesta man behöver för att klara sig, inte minst efter tio år på laboratorium.  Men jag hatar matte ändå.

Familjens ekonomi balanserade som alltid mellan fattigdom och ruin hösten 1964. Det var mot den bakgrunden mamma insåg att jag behövde tjäna egna pengar.

– Det skulle vara bra om du kunde få lite pengar. Vill du sälja jultidningar? frågade mamma.

Jag som fortfarande inte kunde läsa hade inga begrepp om vad det innebar. Men sa ja, som så ofta i mitt liv när jag inte haft en aning.

Jag var ju redan självständig och modig. Så varför oakley outlet inte självförsörjande också?

Så mamma ringde Åhlén & Åkerlunds förlag. Jag fick dispens som åttaåring för att sälja jultidningar.

– Egentligen måste man vara 10 år, men jag sa att du är ovanligt duktig för din ålder, förklarade mamma uppfordrande.

Ja, vem kunde protestera mot det omdömet?

Knacka dörr

Så jag tog mina kataloger och började knacka dörr. Vi bodde ganska långt jordan sale söderut i Sysslebäck. Jag gick efter stora vägen i timmar varje kväll. Först åt ena hållet. Från Kvistberget och fram till vägen mot Vindängsjön. Det låg bondgårdar och gamla hus efter hela vägen. Jag passerade Mogrens Järnhandel, Konsum i gula huset med torn på vänster sida och sedan Larssons handel på höger sida, hela vägen fram till stora backen där vägen till Vindängsjön gick in. Sedan tillbaka igen.

Det var ungefär 4 km fram och tillbaka mellan Kvistberget och vägen till Vindängsjön. Åt andra hållet var det närmare 7.8 km enkel väg till andra sidan Klarabro. Alltså nästan 16 km fram och tillbaka hem. Det var långt.

Jag gick inte hela sträckan på en kväll, utan delade upp den i mindre bitar. Jag gick och knackade i alla hus på ena sidan och tillbaka knackade jag på resten av husen. Ofta var de en bit in från vägen och jag gick till alla.

Det var mest gamla bondgårdar och äldre hus söderöver. Där det numer är igenväxt eller nya villor var det öppna ängar nästan överallt. Norröver var det mer tätbefolkat. Min rutt gick genom centrum och utefter stora vägen, förbi Folkets Park och vidare mot Skyllbäck. Jag gick så länge det fanns hus att knacka på.

Det tog tid att gå och det var mörkt. Men jag hade reflexer och uthållighet. oakley outlet Ofta var klockan närmare 22 när jag var hemma igen. Kväll efter kväll.

När jultidningarna kom delade mamma upp dem efter beställningarna. Sedan slog hon in varje beställning i brunt omslagspapper, skrev namn och adress på varje paket och vad de skulle betala. Hon skrev med olika pennor och färger, varierade skrivstil eller tryckbokstäver. Sedan fick jag lära mig alltsammans utantill, för jag kunde ju inte läsa. Men räkna pengar lärde jag mig tidigt.

Så här ser det ut 2015:

Här vände jag vid vägen till Vindängsjön och gick hemåt igen. Det var fortfarande vänstertrafik så jag gick och knackade på höger sidan hem.

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I det vita huset låg Larssons Handel. När jag var liten var huset grått, dörren var på mitten med två stora skyltfönster på båda sidor om dörren.

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Här rakt fram låg Mogrens järnhandel och till vänster, ungefär där bilen är parkerad bakom ”Fiske”-skylten oakley outlet låg Sol-kiosken. Till höger om affären skymtar gaveln på Nedergårdens uthus, där jag fick se skinnen av killingarna.
Jag gick alltså till Sol-kiosken längs foten av kullen där Cottage de gamla magasinshusen låg när jag skulle köpa cigaretter till mamma. Det röda huset på kullen kan vara Frälsningsarméns f.d. samlingslokal ”Klippan”. Det gula huset ligger där de röda stora magasinshusen började.

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Det tog tre år innan jag hade sparat ihop till mina första egna möbler. Jag hade 12 öre per krona i provision. I januari 1967 köpte jag ett toalettbord med tillhörande blommig stol för 425 kr. Som jämförelse ska nämnas att man fick en trea för samma hyra per månad i en halvstor stad. Det var en enorm summa pengar för en tioåring.

Jag har både stolen och toalettbordet kvar.

 

 

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Att välja lyckan

När jag ser tillbaka på allt som hänt, känns det som om jag bara minns elände. Men under tiden jag berättar om svärtan händer det att färgerna under spindelväven blänker till. För första gången på många år.

Låt solens strålar smälta monstren. Nej, det är tyvärr inte alldeles sant. Några av de smärtsammaste dagar jag upplevt har varit de klaraste sommardagar, i fantastiska omgivningar medan människor skrattat runt omkring. Medan all världens härlighet bredde ut sig framför mina fötter kände jag hatet Cheap Brace Jerseys strömma över mig. Min fångvaktare överöste mig med de vidrigaste tillmälen, viskande och hjärtligt leende.

Ändå minns jag platsen som den vackraste jag sett.

Stå cheap nfl jerseys ut

När hela dygnet gick åt att balansera tillvaron och ta ansvar för alla vuxensaker, medan jag fasade för att lägga mig. Då blir man bra på att hålla sig vaken länge. Och lyssna till hjärtats förtvivlade slag. Och förtränga alla känslor för att inte bli galen.

Då var jag glad för varenda kyss jag fångat innan, i frihet. Särskilt de stulna, de förbjudna och alldeles underbara.

Jag tänker ofta att det finns ingen villkorslös kärlek. Allt har sitt pris, även kärlek. Man måste göra sig förtjänt av den. Den finns eller försvinner på ett ögonblick. Det finns inte så många hjärtan i min tillvaro.

Men så ser jag in i min lilla hunds bedjande blick och känner att henne älskar jag nog villkorslöst. Vad hon än gör. Hon kommer aldrig att svika mig, skada mig eller förråda mig. Eller försvinna utan ett ord.

50 centimeter

I går vaknade jag till en morgon som kunde sett helt annorlunda ut.

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De 50 centimeterna gjorde att jag kunde krama ett levande barn i fem timmar och hade lyckan att vara vaken tre timmar till bara för att lyssna till hans lätta andetag.

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Det var mindre smärtsamt än vanligt att sätta honom på bussen bort från mig.

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‘Bleed for This’ is great movie tell story about The inspirational story of World Champion Boxer Vinny Pazienza, who after a near fatal car crash, which left him not knowing if he’d ever walk again, made one of sports most incredible comebacks. This film have genre Drama and have 116 minutes runtime.

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Christine Evangelista as Ashley, Miles Teller as Vinny Pazienza, Ciarán Hinds as Angelo Pazienza, Ted Levine as Lou Duva, Katey Sagal as Louise Pazienza, Aaron Eckhart as Kevin Rooney.

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The Director of this film is Ben Younger. The movie Bleed for This is produced by Verdi Productions, Sikelia Productions, Bruce Cohen Productions, Younger Than You and released in November 04, 2016

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Bleed for This have some similar movie, Million Dollar Baby, Unbroken, Creed, Rocky, Eddie the Eagle, Raging Bull

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Director : Oriol Paulo.
Writer : Oriol Paulo.
Release : January 6, 2017
Country : Spain.
Production Company : Televisió de Catalunya TV3, Instituto de la Cinematografía y de las Artes Audiovisuales (ICAA), Think Studio, Nostromo Pictures, Institut Català de les Empreses Culturals (ICEC), Colosé Producciones, movistar+, Habitación Cerrada, La.
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Runtime : 106 min.
Genre : Mystery, Crime, Thriller.

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Mörkervandring augusti 1961

När mamma hade kommit hem wholesale Jerseys från sjukhuset och min lillebror kommit tillbaka blev det enklare. Dörren var öppen, det fanns mat hela tiden och jag kunde stanna inne om det var kallt. Jag behövde inte gå ute hela dagen, i samma kläder.

Juli försvann och i takt med att sommaren gick blev det allt mörkare på kvällarna. Vi var framme i augusti när mamma bestämde sig för att det var dags att lära mig att vara ensam i mörkret. Utomhus. Jag var ju redan självständig. Nu var det dags att bli modig.

– Jag vill inte att du ska bli mörkrädd så jag tänkte att i kväll får du gå till kiosken och köpa cigaretter. Du får ta ficklampan, sa mamma vänligt och log innan hon stängde fönstret. Jag stod kvar på gräsmattan i den kalla skuggan och tog in vad som väntade.

Mörkervandring

Dagen gick och kvällen kom. När det var absolut kolsvart ute utrustade mamma mig med pengar och ficklampa. Gatlyktorna kantade vägen från skolan, fortsatte nerför backen och slutade vid korsningen där vägarna från skogen och skolan möttes nedanför vårt hus. Den väg jag måste gå för att komma till kiosken gick rakt fram över korsningen och var helt mörklagd. En skarp gräns skilde mörkret från ljuset. Alldeles på andra sidan korsningen, i mörkret låg en liten glänta bland buskarna. Där brukade fyllhundarna, alltså områdets alkoholister sitta och supa.

– Nu ska du inte vara rädd, för det finns ingenting i mörkret som är farligt, sa mamma och fortsatte:

– Om det är några som dricker öl där nere, ska du inte bli rädd. De är ju bara lite fulla, inte farliga. ”Peje” såg jag härom dagen när han dansade runt en låda med öl. Han vet inte vad han gör, så det är inte farligt, avslutade hon och föste ut mig genom ytterdörren.

Låt mig påpeka att min mamma hade en bakgrund i restaurangbranschen och var van att hantera fulla gubbar.

Magasinet

Jag började gå nedför backen och närmade mig korsningen. När jag gick in i mörkret tände jag ficklampan. Jag vågade bara lysa rakt framför mina fötter för att inte dra uppmärksamheten till mig. Det var tyst på fyllhundarnas festplats. Jag gick vidare. På vänster sida hade jag skogen som en ogenomtränglig mur. På höger sida kom jag fram till ett gammalt sandtag där man grävt ut en del av wholesale Jerseys kullen där Frälsningsarmén och Tidlunds garage var placerade på toppen.

Vid en hög buske tog jag av till höger för att snedda längs stigen genom gräset. På dagen när solen sken fanns två stora myrvägar som korsade stigen. Nu var det mörkt, kallt och fuktigt. Inte ens myrorna ville vara ute i mörkret.

Jag närmade mig gaveln på ett stort, långt gammalt magasin. Man kunde ta till höger och följa vägen som gick längs magasinets baksida. Då kom man så småningom fram till en liten lägenhet högt upp under takåsarna vid andra gaveln. Men dit skulle inte jag.

Min stig gick på framsidan av magasinet. På snabba fötter skyndade jag mig förbi gapande fönster utan glas och halvöppna dörrar som gnisslade i nattbrisen från älven. Bakom varje dörr lurade det okända. Runt omkring mig ruvade skogen, bergen och tystnaden, avbruten endast av ljuden från det jättelika magasinet. Långt borta kunde jag ana älven.

Modig

Väl framme vid Sol-kiosken öppnade jag dörren och klev in i människornas värld igen. Mamma hade skrivit en lapp med vad jag skulle ha. När jag väl fått mina cigaretter av märket Ritz (utan filter) begav jag mig hem igen, samma väg.

Jag fick mycket beröm av mamma för att jag varit modig och duktig. Det kunde jag vara värd. Det var fortfarande en månad kvar tills jag skulle fylla fem år.

————————————————————————————–

Foto av Aleksander Markin under licensen cc-by-sa-2.0.

Jag har lånat bilden på Wikimedia Commons på villkor att jag uppger ovanstående.

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Poster Movie The Mummy 2017
  • The Mummy (2017)

  • Director
    Alex Kurtzman.
    Producer
    Alex Kurtzman, Chris Morgan, Sean Daniel, Roberto Orci.
  • Production Company
    Universal Pictures, K/O Paper Products, Sean Daniel Company.
    Release
    June 8, 2017
  • Country
    United States of America.
    Language
    English.
  • Runtime
    89 min
    Genre
    Action, Adventure, Fantasy, Horror, Thriller.

‘The Mummy’ is a movie genre Action, was released in June 8, 2017. Alex Kurtzman was directed this movie and starring by Tom Cruise. This movie tell story about Though safely entombed in a crypt deep beneath the unforgiving desert, an ancient queen whose destiny was unjustly taken from her is awakened in our current day, bringing with her malevolence grown over millennia, and terrors that defy human comprehension.

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Sommaren i båthuset

Sommaren innan jag skulle fylla 14 bodde hela familjen i ett båthus vid Botungens cheap authentic jerseys strand i Rotvik, alldeles i närheten av gården där min mamma och hennes syskon växt upp. Nu var gården såld sedan länge, men stora delar av själva marken och skogen ägdes fortfarande av min mormor och hennes syster.

Det var ett fint båthus, sex – sju meter långt, tre meter brett, målat i rött och vitt. Ena hälften upptogs av båten och i andra hälften bodde vi. Mamma, pappa, jag och mina båda syskon.

Bondgården

Min pappa hade byggt både båten och båthuset själv, medan vi fortfarande hyrde en gammal bondgård för 100 kr om året. Gården låg en bit uppåt land och hade förfallna uthus, utedass och allt vatten hämtades i brunnen. Inne fanns vedspis, kylskåp och ett stort skafferi. Vi hade tre små rum, förutom köket. Gäster kom ofta på besök. Mamma lagade mängder med god mat och placerade ut alla där det fanns plats. Det var en fantastisk utsikt över ängarna ner mot sjön. På kvällarna kom rådjuren fram ur skogen och betade nedanför vårt fönster.  Det var vårt paradis och vi åkte dit så fort vi kunde efter skolavslutningen i juni.

Under långa sommardagar tillverkade pappa en liten båt så vi skulle kunna fara ut på sjön och lägga nät, fiska kräftor och meta. Mormor ägde stora delar av sjön, så det var inget problem med fiskerätten. Båten var rätt liten och ”knärodd” som man sa, för den hade så låga sidor. Men den flöt och tog oss på många äventyr längs stränderna.

Båthuset

<span style=”font-size: medium”>För att kunna förvara båten någonstans fortsatte pappa med att fake oakleys bygga ett båthus. Han byggde huset i sektioner, sedan körde han ner alltsammans till allmänningen vid sjön och band samman sektionerna ute i vattnet till ett stort paket. Det flöt på vattnet. Så band han fast huspaketet vid sin hembyggda eka med hjälp av en bogserlina och började ro. Det tog hela dagen för honom att ro huset längs stranden, släpande efter den lilla båten. När pappa återvände hem efter 12 timmar var han rätt trött. Dagen därpå satte han igång med att resa båthuset.

Det var flera år senare han la golv i halva båthuset. Så ställde vi in tre sängar. Jag fick en egen säng, medan mina föräldrar och syskon fick dela på de återstående två. Min bror var nio och min syster bara fem så det gick rätt bra. De tog så liten plats.

Utanför dörren byggde pappa en stomme av smala träläkt som han klädde med byggplast. Där ställde vi köksmöblerna you could try these out. Ett skogaller av metall ställdes över två stenar som spis. Någon gav oss en vedeldad tvättgryta. En bit bort byggde pappa ett utedass.

Mössen

För att inte ungtjurarna skulle komma åt att vässa hornen på väggarna hade pappa redan tidigare inhägnat båthuset med fårstängsel. Nu gjorde han likadant med bilen, vilket var nödvändigt eftersom den stod parkerad bland tjurarna.

Där det finns människor finns det möss. Och det dröjde inte länge förrän mössen fanns överallt omkring oss. Min mamma som alltid gjorde det bästa av varje situation började mata mössen varje kväll. Pappa hade gjort ett provisoriskt bord med ett ben. Andra kortänden var fäst vid en stor sten i strandbrinken ner mot sjön. Över bordet växte en stor tall och vid tallens rötter la mamma ut mat till de halvtama mössen. Sedan satt hon där och såg dem hämta maten innan de kilade tillbaka in under trädrötterna. Hon försökte få mig att se det söta i de små mössen.

– Se så fina de är, så små och snabba, sa Mamma.

120px-Mouse_eating_leaf

Jag rös.

Att bo i ett båthus är inte samma sak som att se möss på film, i en bur eller kela med dem en stund för att de är söta. Att bo i ett båthus med golv av plankor i halva huset, medan andra hälften har öppet rakt ner till marken är att vara en del av mössens liv. 

Varje kväll när vi lagt oss var det alldeles tyst i en minut. Sedan började det. Några prövande steg på täcket nere vid fötterna. Jag sparkade på täcket och tassarna försvann. Gång på gång återkom de små tassarna. Jag skrämde bort dem tills jag somnade av ren utmattning, för att väckas av mössen som sprang diagonalt över mitt täcke och ner igen vid båten på min högra sida. När jag inte orkade vara vaken längre sprang de fritt över oss allesammans, hela nätterna.

Göra det bästa av situationen

För att min pappa inte skulle känna sig misslyckad var mamma lika glad ändå, hela tiden. Hon satt på knä och lagade mat över skogallret och öppen eld flera gånger om dagen. Hon eldade under tvättgrytan och skötte tvätten för oss fem, inklusive muspissiga lakan utan ett ord av klagan. Mamma sköljde tvätten genom att hämta hink efter hink av sjövatten och fylla tvättgrytan, för det fanns ingen brygga, botten var lerig och långgrund. En dag när hon tvättade fick hon syn på ett par gäddor som lekte i vassen. Den ena sökte skydd mellan ett par stenar i strandkanten. Försiktigt sänkte mamma sköljhinken strax ovanför vattenytan framför gäddan, sedan stack hon ner handen och killade den på stjärtfenan. Den överrumplade gäddan tog ett hopp rakt in i hinken. Vi åt den till middag.

Precis som vi andra tvättade mamma sig i sjön, i kallvatten och sköljde håret i en hink. Efter att hon tagit hand om småbarnen, diskat i baljor, bäddat och städat överallt så gott det gick. Även vid båthuset tog vi emot gäster med jämna mellanrum och alla var välkomna. 

Sista natten

<p cheap nhl jerseys class=”western”>En natt låg jag och sov, när jag vaknade av att något krafsade i min hand och det fortsatte. Jag klämde till och det pep. hockey jerseys En mus hade fastnat i mitt hår och försökte ta sig loss. Jag skrek så högt att hela familjen kom på benen och stod som tennsoldater på golvet. Jag skrek JAG BLIR TOKIG!!! gav dem en blick och gick ut genom dörren, tog en köksstol och gick upp på gärdet till tjurarna. Där ställde jag stolen mitt på gärdet, satte mig på den och drog upp benen. Resten av natten satt jag på stolen med uppdragna ben. Solen gick upp. Jag satt kvar.

Det var då pappa bestämde sig för att bygga ett litet hus på en annan fläck av min mormors Wholesale Jerseys vidsträckta marker. Men jag gick inte ner från stolen förrän mamma sagt att pappa lovat bygga med råttsäkra väggar. 

Det blev lite sömn, men jag stod ut tills vidare.

Lilla huset 

Min mormor ägde omkring 120 Ha skog och en del mark. När pappa skulle bygga huset bad han henne om att få ta lite virke i de milsvida skogarna. Mormor gav honom löfte att plocka grantopparna som låg kvar i skogen efter avverkningarna. Pappa plockade grantoppar och körde dem till Hällsbäcks såg där de sågades till tunna brädor. Sedan satte han igång att bygga ett litet hus på en bit gärde uppe vid vägen, med utsikt över ett tomt hus som visserligen var min mormors, men som användes av släktens jägare vid älgjakten varje höst. Vi fick använda tio meter av uppfartsvägen till huset för att ta oss in till vårt lilla gärde. 

Pappa byggde huset på rekordtid och efter ett par veckor kunde vi flytta in. Skjulet var sex meter brett och nästan tre meter djupt, med insidan av väggarna och golvet klätt med råttsäker masonit. På taket la han plåt. Det smattrade hemtrevligt när det regnade. Utanför fanns en liten veranda med ett inklätt sommarkök där man kunde diska och förvara husgeråd på några öppna hyllor. En bit bort byggde pappa ännu ett utedass. En stor förbättring var den stora järnspis som placerats i det fria på fyra stenar. Vatten fanns i en gammal brunn på gärdet intill.

Födelsedagskalaset

I mitten av augusti skulle pappa fylla fake ray ban sunglasses 60 år och vi funderade på hur vi skulle förvandla vårt lilla, råttsäkra hus till festlokal så vi kunde bjuda gäster. Det var pappas idé att döpa om hela faderullan till en westerninspirerad saloon. Sagt och gjort. Med restbitar av masoniten och en skvätt vit färg målade vi skyltar och döpte huset till Silver Moon. 

När dagen randades kom våra vänner i en strid ström. Alla satt där de fick plats och mamma bjöd på utsökta smörgåsar, är man utbildad kallskänka så är man. Även om det fattas både kylskåp, kök och nästan allt annat. 

Det var en ljummen kväll. Nattfjärilarna svärmade kring fotogenlampan. Från det lilla huset hördes skratt och sång. Jag satt ute på verandan och lyssnade till festen medan kvällen blev till natt. 

Månen lyste klar över födelsedagsfesten, den sista kvällen av vår sista sommar.

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Det var Frälsningsarmen i Sysslebäck som stod för söndagsskolan i början av 1960-talet. Samlingslokalen Klippan låg på en kulle strax nedanför vårt hus.  Passande nog var det en brant cheap oakleys uppförsbacke innan man kom fram till Guds hus. När man nådde kullens krön passerade man först Tidlunds verkstad. Han skötte all snöröjning runt skolan med hjälp av sin jättestora traktor. Strax bakom låg Frälsningsarmen.

Det var kyligt i lokalen, men det var spännande. Levande ljus och väl insuttna bänkar. Förutom de vanliga gudstjänstattributen fanns en tavla på väggen. Den var alltid tom när vi kom, men under söndagsskolan växte det fram en hel saga.  Det var en flanellograf . En inramad skiva klädd med flanell där man kunde fästa olika figurer med flanell klistrad på baksidan.

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– Det här är ett minne av min lillebror som dog när han var liten, förklarade hon och strök sakta över tåhättan.

Kaptens mamma hade den andra skon. Det var sorgligt att se den lilla guldskon bredvid spegeln.

Så småningom fick vi en ny kapten. Till skillnad mot sin föregångare, som var liten och rund med glasögon, var den nya kaptenen lång, mager och svartklädd. Hon bodde inte i kaptensbostaden utan i ett jättehus, på andra sidan stora landsvägen. Det var mellan den gårdens uthus jag brukade gå ner till älven.

Fettknölen

Nya kaptenen hade som sagt inte glasögon, utan något mycket intressantare. Över vänster ögonbryn hade hon en enorm fettknöl.  Som ett horn stack den ut och pressade ner hennes ögonbryn mot ögonlocket. Jag var fascinerad och övade tills jag kunde röra ögonbrynen oberoende av varandra. Än i dag kan jag pressa ner ena ögonbrynet cheap nhl jerseys medan det andra oberört stannar på sin plats. Det var kaptenens förtjänst. Man kan inte lära sig det som vuxen. Även den nya kaptenen var mycket snäll och berättade spännande historier.

Frälsningsarmen la ner sin söndagsskola några år senare och svenska kyrkan (?) tog över. Söndagsskolan flyttades till kommunalhuset mitt i byn. Avklädd sång, musik, flanellograf och trevligheter var det inte mycket kvar av söndagsskolan. Lokalen såg ut som en kartong och belysningen bestod av lysrör. Inte ens blädderblocket där den nervöse unge prästen hjälpligt ritade en hydda, en flicka och en spottkobra var speciellt intressant. Djävulen hade sannerligen lagt beslag på all bra musik när Klippas dörrar Custom Jerseys stängdes för oss.

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Quality : HD
Title : Aftermath.
Director : Elliott Lester
Release : April 06, 2017
Language : en.
Runtime : 92 min
Genre : Thriller, Drama.

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‘Aftermath’ is great film tell story about Based on the airline accident that occurred in July of 2002 and on the events that took place 478 days later. This film have genre Thriller, Drama and have 92 minutes runtime.

Cast
Hannah Ware as Tessa, Maggie Grace as Christina, Mariana Klaveno as Eve Sanders, Arnold Schwarzenegger as Roman, Scoot McNairy as Paul Bonanos, Kevin Zegers as John Gullick.

Production
The Director of this movie is Elliott Lester. The movie Aftermath is produced by Union Editorial, Oak Productions, Pacific View Management, thefyzz, Ingenious Media, Protozoa Pictures, Hat and Cat Productions, Emmett Furla Oasis Films (EFO Films) and released in April 06, 2017.

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När mamma kom hem igen

Det tog ytterligare ett par veckor, sedan kom min moster Mona och hennes familj och räddade mig. Morbror Björn fick semester 1 juli och hela familjen kom i en liten folkvagnsbubbla.

Jag stod på trappan och tog emot dem. Under åren som kom skulle Björn народу många gånger beskriva hur jag stod där på trappan ”som en liten husmor och vred dina händer”.

– Jag är ledsen att det inte är städat, sa jag.

Jag visste hur det borde ha sett ut, fast pappa hade dukat med våra finaste kaffekoppar.  Mamma hade alltid dukar på alla bord, även på matbordet. Våra sängar var alltid bäddade med spetsprydda lakan, som först kokats i vedeldad tvättgryta i källaren, sedan fått torka ute året runt. Sedan strök och rullade hon dem hårt. Hon hade sängkläder till 18 sängar. I Norge hade vi haft inneboende Sell av och till. Männen som skickades till pappas wholesale jerseys skyddade verkstad kom långväga ifrån.

I alla fönster stod blommor, bland annat en 45-årig Clivia och en jättelik Gardenia. För mig är doften av gardenia förknippad med mamma.

Mamma 

I vilket fall som helst kom Mona, Björn och mina kusiner Agneta 15 år  och Ylva 11 år. Det var slut med mina ensamma vandringar för den här gången.  Vi for runt i deras bil och såg oss om i dalen. Pappa for och hälsade på mamma. Jag sov dåligt den natten. Alla trodde jag grät efter pappa. Men jag grät för jag hade tandvärk. Jag hade ingen tandborste efter nästan ett år i Sverige, där det fanns massor av godis.  Inte förrän tre år senare hamnade jag hos en tandläkare som drog ut allt han kunde och lagade resten.

Jag fick följa med och hämta mamma den 9 juli 1961. Det var ungefär fem veckor sedan hon försvann och tog min lillebror med sig. Vi reste hur länge som helst och kom fram till ett jättelikt hus. Uppför trappan och öppnade dörren. Där stod mamma och skrattade. Hon lyfte upp mig och kramade mig.

Men jag kände ingenting. Jag hade vant mig av med mamma. Jag hade vant mig av med kramar. Det kändes genant att bli kramad bland alla människor. När hon släppt ner mig kom de med en glad bebis som de sa var lillebror. Jaså.

Vi åkte hem igen. Mamma pratade hela vägen hem.

Självständig

Alla var glada. Jag kände ingenting. Jag var nöjd över att ytterdörren inte var låst längre. Och att få äta pannkakor med händerna. Men den nya saken ketchup var verkligen äcklig.

När mamma märkte att jag drog mig undan fick jag beröm för jag var så självständig.  Hon behöver inte ens sitta i knä längre, konstaterade mamma glatt. Jag var bara 4 år så jag hade inga ord för att förklara hur ensam jag hade varit, hur hungrig jag var hela dagarna eller hur det kändes att stå utanför den låsta dörren.

Jag kunde inte heller förklara att jag visst ville sitta i knä, att ingen hade kramat mig på länge eller att jag hade ont i tänderna hela tiden. Och ingen talade om för mig varför mamma försvann på natten när jag sov för så länge sedan.

Jag sa aldrig hur rädd jag var för koflocken. Eller hur långt jag brukade gå nere efter älven. Eller att jag aldrig hade gått upp till skolan och frågat efter pappa.

Ingenting av allt det där sa jag. För jag hade inte så många ord när jag var fyra år. Ingen frågade heller.  Alla nöjde sig med att jag överlevt sommaren.

På bilden är det jag som kikar på min lillebror i mormors knä, sommaren 1961

 

 

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Jag stod på trappan wholesale jerseys och kände kylan i skuggan. Början av juni är ofta kall i Klarälvdalen. De sista snöhögarna brukar smälta bort i maj om vintern varit lång. Pappa hade sagt att jag väl kunde leka med rektorns flickor som nyss flyttat dit. Men den minsta var två år, nästa var fem och den äldsta var åtta. Och jag kände dem inte alls.

Första dagen höll jag mig i närheten och undersökte den branta slänten bakom huset. Så brant att man fick sparka fast fötterna i jorden för att inte ramla ner på grannens gårdsplan. Deras hus låg längs stora vägen. Om jag stod på kanten av stupet kunde jag se bondgårdar längre bort vid älven. Små kor och människor rörde sig runt husen.

Jag tog mig runt vårt hus och kom ner i en skogsdunge 10 meter nedanför husgaveln. i en skreva växte en liten tall. Vi var lika långa. Jag fortsatte från ställe till ställe i allt vidare cirklar. Timmarna gick och jag väntade på att pappa skulle komma hem. När solens strålat blev allt längre och skiftade i guld drog jag mig tillbaka och satte mig på baksidan av vårt hus. Det var enda varma platsen. Så hörde jag steg i gruset och skyndade mig runt hörnet för att se om det var pappa.

Det var pappa. Jag kände mig glad. Äntligen skulle jag få gå på toaletten.

– Har du suttit här och väntat? frågade han och lät arg.

– Ja, svarade jag och stannade. Jag förstod inte varför han var arg.

– Här ska du inte sitta och vänta. jag sa ju åt dig att gå och leka med de andra barnen! Varför sitter du här?! frågade pappa medan han låste upp ytterdörren.

– Jag känner inte dom, sa jag.

– Dumheter! De verkar ju trevliga! När jag är borta hockey jerseys vill jag inte att du sitter här och väntar. Du ska gå och leka med de andra medan jag är på jobbet!

Jag minns inte vad jag fick att äta. Jag måste ju ha gått på toaletten. Allt jag minns är den svidande känslan av misslyckande.

Vägen bort

Nästa dag upprepades morgonen och pappa gick till jobbet.

Det var ensamt att stå utanför den låsta dörren. jag hade aldrig varit utan mamma förut. Jag hade aldrig varit utan andra vuxna omkring mig heller. Men jag visste att jag inte kunde stanna vid huset för då skulle pappa bli arg igen.

Jag började vandra längre bort och jag lärde mig att gömma mig i skogen. Jag gick stigen som ledde upp på sandåsen. Den slingrade sig fram högt över husen, skolan och cheap oakleys de små bodgårdarna längs älven. Längs kanten löpte ett enkelt stängsel med trästolpar och två tvärslåar. När de lösa korna kom, med kvigor, kalvar, getter och killingar i släptåg skyndade jag mig att krypa genom stängslet och sparka mig en liten hylla att stå på medan flocken drog förbi. Precis som jag släpptes korna på skogen varje morgon, sedan letade de sig hem själva till kvällsmjölkningen. Jag var rädd för dem.

Jag brukade gå hem när skuggorna blev långa. Jag aktade mig noga för att gå hem för tidigt så inte pappa skulle bli arg igen. Om jag av misstag kom hem för tidigt, när dörren fortfarande var låst, skyndade jag att gömma mig så han inte skulle se mig. Olika ställen varje dag. Jag lärde mig att det var viktigt att han fick komma hem först, för då trodde han att jag hade haft så mycket att göra att jag inte hade tid att gå hem. Som vuxen insåg jag att jag lämnades ensam ungefär 12 timmar i sträck, varje dag.

Äta ifred

Ibland hände det att jag fick leka med någon en stund på dagen. Men det tog slut när de skulle äta.  Nu får du gå hem för vi ska äta middag, sa deras mamma. Eller mellanmål, ett förtrollat ord som jag hörde första gången i rektorns kök, medan jag såg hur deras mamma serverade flingor med smultron och mjölk. Mellanmål förekom aldrig hemma hos oss. Jag hade ingenstans att få mat. Så jag gick vidare någon annanstans, jag letade nya vägar ut i världen omkring. Jag vågade aldrig gå upp till skolan och leta efter pappa.

Jag var inte så hungrig längre. Jag hade plötsligt ingen mamma. Min bror mindes jag inte hur han såg ut. Jag hade ingen jag kände, ingen som brydde sig om mig. Ingen undrade var jag var eller satte på mig mer kläder när det regnade. Särskilt minns jag en dag då jag bara hade en röd soldräkt av nylon på mig, ingenting annat. Den var så besvärlig, för alltsammans var hopsytt så man måste ta av sig hela dräkten för att kunna kissa. Jag höll mig så länge jag kunde. På morgonen lyste solen, sedan blev det mulet. Jag minns hur dräkten skavde och hur jag frös. Det var en lång dag.

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En söndag ordnade Frälsningsarmén bussutflykt till Elverum i Norge. Vi skulle åka till deras Frälsningsarmé och vara borta hela dagen. Pappa sa ja och jag var Wholesale Jerseys jätteglad. Jag kläddes fin i grå kjol och vit blus. Han flätade mitt hår ordentligt och önskade mig trevlig resa.

Det var kanske 4 mil till gränsen och sedan ytterligare en bit till Elverum. Väl framme samlades vi i en stor sal där alla barnen satt uppradade. Plötsligt upptäckte jag vita kryss här och var på golvet. Plötsligt ställer sig min kompis Eva som var två år Cheap Football Jerseys äldre, på ett av kryssen och deklamerar en lång vers iklädd en liten sköterskeuniform. På flera ställen i salen hände samma sak. Jag insåg att flera barn inte bara hade fått ett kryss att stå på, utan dessutom olika kläder och lärt sig verser utantill som de fick säga framför alla människor.

Jag hade varken fått kryss eller kläder så jag bestämde mig för att gå hem.

Jag tog min väska och gick ut på trappan. Jag kunde inte gå hem, för det var så långt. Men jag kunde vänta. Så jag satte mig ner på trappsteget med väskan bredvid mig och väntade. Resten av dagen satt jag på trappan medan tiden gick. Både vuxna och barn var ute och försökte locka in mig med saft, bullar och allt möjligt. De frågade varför jag satt kvar ute.

– Jag väntar på att åka hem, svarade jag och satt kvar.

Hela dagen satt jag still på trappan. Har man inte fått ett kryss så har man ingen anledning att dricka saft.

Till sist tog dagen slut och bussen körde hem oss.

Pappa frågade om jag haft roligt.

– Ja, väldigt roligt, svarade jag glatt.

Jag var hemma, inomhus. Pappa hade mig i knä och jag var mätt. Klart jag var glad.

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När du hade åkt med bussen blev jag så orolig så jag tog bilen och åkte bakom bussen hela vägen till Elverum. Sedan satt jag vid järnvägsstationen hela dagen. Den låg mitt emot huset där du var, men du såg mig inte?

– Nej? sa Cheap NFL Jerseys jag.

– När jag såg att du kom ut och satte dig på trappan tänkte jag gå till dig, men jag lät bli för du skulle få klara dig själv. Men jag såg hur många flickor kom ut och pratade med dig. Varför gick du inte in igen?, frågade pappa.

– Jag fick inget kryss, svarade jag.

Jag är fortfarande ingen vän av orättvisor.

 

 

 

 

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På tröskeln till helvetet

En morgon vaknade jag i min spjälsäng av att mamma kom in i sovrummet. Hon lyfte upp mig. Det var kallt i rummet och hon klädde mig snabbt. Nä vi kom ut i hallen såg jag att alla möbler var borta. Hela våningen var tom.

Nu ska vi åka, sa mamma. Så gick vi ut. På gården stod en grå lastbil. En av min pappas anställda på förarplatsen. Grannarna kom och sa adjö. Så klättrade vi upp i förarhytten. Och med Enger vid ratten anträdde jag, mamma och pappa resan bort.

Utan allt

I en ofjädrad lastbil från 1930-talet for vi med allt vi ägde tvärs över Valdresflya. På flaket maldes sakta men säkert mammas porslin ner till smulor. Bakom oss lämnade vi allt som var värt något, inklusive det hus min pappa byggt på nätterna. På dagarna hade han arbetat i tre år som anställd hos snickaren Svensson.

Den stora bostadsbristen i Norge efter kriget hade gjort att pappa i stället för att bygga den enfamiljsvilla han planerat, hade tvingats av myndigheterna att bygga ett flerfamiljshus. Det stod inflyttningsklart 1951. Efter närmare tio år som egen företagare och föreståndare för Norges första skyddade verkstad kunde pappa inte betala lånen längre. Han fick gå i konkurs och banken tog huset. Nu satt vi här i en dragig lastbil på väg mot ett okänt öde på andra sidan gränsen. I Sverige.

Längta hem

Mina föräldrar var svenskar. Själv blev jag ”naturaliserad svensk medborgare” trots att jag var född i Norge genom dem. De kommande tio åren skulle jag längta hem till Norge, varje dag dygnet runt.

När min pappa förlorade allt han ägde förlorade han samtidigt sitt arbete och alla möjligheter till försörjning. Han var från början byggnadsarbetare och efter flera år studier avancerade han till byggmästare. Min far kom ursprungligen från Ångermanland där han innan andra världskriget hade -2014 startat upp en fabrik för tillverkning av olika träartiklar. Den gick ganska bra och man exporterade en del till övriga Europa. I sitt första äktenskap hade min pappa gift sig som 20-åring med en jämnårig kamrat, som han själv uttryckte det flera decennier senare. Hon var bonddotter och pappa byggde ett hus på gården. Men han ”vägrade gå där som en dräng”, utan fortsatte att fara runt på byggen lite överallt. Så kom kriget.

Lägret

Efter att i månader legat på vakt vid gränsen mot Finland hade pappa förfrusit fötterna såpass att han fick annan tjänstgöring. 1942 fick min blivande far i uppdrag att upprätta ett antal uppsamlingsläger. Sverige behövde placera de flyktingar som hämtades hit från nazisternas koncentrationsläger i Polen och andra som befann sig på flykt. Min pappa fick ansvar för tre läger i Dalarna och till ett av dem kom min blivande mamma, 22 år gammal. Hon kom direkt från Uppsala där hon trots sin unga ålder arbetade som chef för två mjölkbarer. Min pappa anställde henne som chef för köket.

De bästa åren

De kommande tre åren blev de bästa i mina föräldrars liv. Tillsammans med de andra i personalen genomlevde de den djupaste sorg och stor glädje. Många av de flyktingar som kom var ynkliga människospillor som dog i deras armar. Att ta hand om en kropp av en människa som drabbats av störtblödning eller prata med Mengeles offer för medicinska experiment påverkar synen på livet. De svetsades samman, inte bara som älskande par utan också med vänner som de sedan behöll för alltid.

Ingen i den svenska personalen kunde något främmande språk. Varken Note min mamma eller pappa hade vad man kallar högre utbildning. Man hade viss hjälp av den kvinnliga tandläkaren från Polen, men i övrigt fick man klara sig ändå. Utan ett gemensamt språk får man hitta på lösningar.

Inga hinder

Den inställningen till främlingar med utländsk bakgrund, medförde att vårt hem under min uppväxt ofta besöktes av människor som vi egentligen inte borde ha kunnat prata med. Men vi gjorde det ändå.  Långa trevliga middagar genomfördes, med mycket god mat och många leenden. Efteråt fake ray ban sunglasses har jag förstått att mina föräldrar chansade på att bli förstådda på svenska, medan gästerna svarade på alla möjliga språk. Ofta var det engelska, men ibland tyska. Och jag vet säkert att både portugisiska , serbokroatiska och japanska var bland språken. Människorna återkom och Cheap NFL Jerseys var lika välkomna varenda gång.

Och alltsammans påverkade förstås min egen inställning till världen runt omkring. Jag har aldrig oroat mig för att inte bli förstådd eller att inte kunna kommunicera med människor som inte talar samma språk. Jag räknar med att vi ska förstå varandra ändå. Och det gör vi. Människor har alltid mer gemensamt än språket och det satsar jag på. Med det sagt, så är det inte alltid vi förstår varandra i de små detaljerna. Men det finns alltid en lösning. Det är aldrig långtråkigt. 😀

Börja om igen

När det stod klart hösten 1960 att vi skulle gå under ekonomiskt, kom en av vännerna från lägertiden till vår räddning. Med hjälp av vännens kontakter på Skolöverstyrelsen fick min pappa en anställning som lärare på ett av Sveriges första högstadium i Sysslebäck, norra Värmland. Vi flyttade från Norge i oktober 1960. Min mamma var inte bara 40 år, utan gravid i sjätte månaden med min lillebror. Min far var tio år äldre. Vid 50 års ålder fick han börja om från noll, precis som resten av familjen.

Pappa var ständigt sjuk. Hela mitt liv led han av kronisk bronkit, väl underhållen av ständig rökning. Hemmarullade cigaretter utan filter stod på menyn. Ritslas cigarettpapper, tobaken Borkum Riff och en liten rullapparat, metallåda med matta och behållare för tobak och papper var självklara i mitt barndomshem. Ibland köpte mamma ”Ritz”, askar med lackröd botten och namnet i svart/vit 40-talsdesign.

Bestulen

Det fanns ingenstans att bo i Sysslebäck, så vårt första stopp i Sverige blev Bograngen, tre mil från gränsen. I ett iskallt hus från dammbyggets tid flyttade vi in i oktober 1960. Det fanns godis i affären. Pappa köpte bil och pendlade till skolan, medan oakley outlet jag och mamma var hemma. Men vi var ensamma. Från husen runt omkring kom barn och roffade åt sig mina leksaker, som de stal och förstörde. Det gick inte att lämna någonting ute utan bevakning av vuxna, trots inhängnad trädgård med stängd grind. Alla barnen var inte lika, men det fanns vissa barn som stal allt de kunde.

Jag vantrivdes, mamma gjorde som alltid det bästa av saken. Men vi var utslängda i skogen i ett fientligt grannskap. Det spelade ingen roll att sovrummet hade tapeter med barnsånger. Jag ville hem.

Jag hade ingen aning om att det här bara var tröskeln till helvetet.

 

 

 

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[FullMovie] HD-1080p Why Him? (2016) English Subtitle

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Quality : HD
Title : Why Him?.
Director : John Hamburg
Release : December 22, 2016
Language : en.
Runtime : 111 min
Genre : Comedy.

Plot
‘Why Him?’ is exelent film tell story about Ned, an overprotective dad, visits his daughter at Stanford where he meets his biggest nightmare: her well-meaning but socially awkward Silicon Valley billionaire boyfriend, Laird. A rivalry develops and Ned’s panic level goes through the roof when he finds himself lost in this glamorous high-tech world and learns Laird is about to pop the question. This movie have genre Comedy and have 111 minutes runtime.

Cast
Megan Mullally as Barb Fleming, Keegan-Michael Key as Gustav, Zoey Deutch as Stephanie Fleming, Griffin Gluck as Scotty Fleming, James Franco as Laird Mayhew, Bryan Cranston as Ned Fleming.

Production
The Director of this movie is John Hamburg. The movie Why Him? is produced by 21 Laps Entertainment, Red Hour Films and released in December 22, 2016.

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Jag skrev på köpehandlingarna den 13 oktober 1983. Det var de vuxna barnen, en son och en dotter som sålde huset. Det var nödvändigt, men känslomässigt svårt att sälja sitt föräldrahem. Dottern sa till avsked: Nu hoppas jag att du får det riktigt bra och kommer trivas i huset. Det har alltid varit ett så lyckligt hem.

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Fortfarande fanns cheap oakleys statliga ombyggnadslån, som hade funnits i många år, men som skulle upphöra 1 juli 1984. Man fick inte påbörja någon renovering innan ansökan var godkänd. Jag hade bråttom, vid den här tiden tjänade jag under 7000 kr/mån innan skatt, så dubbel bosättning var inte att tänka på alls.

Ansökan blev godkänd runt jul och den 27 januari 1984 flyttade jag in med hjälp av hårt prövade vänner och en släpkärra. Jag hade ingen bil så den fick de också stå för. Dessförinnan hade min fantastiske snickare fixat det nödvändigaste. Han var byggledare för hela renoveringen, och kunde alltså anlita de övriga hantverkare som krävdes vid rätt tidpunkt.

Jag hade toalett, vatten i köket, spis, kyl och frys samt direktverkande elvärme. Det sistnämnda tillståndet satt långt inne, men jag påpekade att jag måste flytta in och antingen frysa ihjäl eller få elelement, så det löste sig.  Mer än en gång har jag varit tacksam att learn fjärrvärmen inte hade nått min gata då jag köpte huset. När väl den stora Jötulkaminen kom på plats värmde den hela huset och gör förmodligen så än idag.

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Fortsättning följer.

 

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Jag var på visningen samma dag jag hittat annonsen. Mot löfte att hänga tillbaka den ordentligt, använde jag nyckeln som hängde på en spik i utedasset dagen därpå.  Jag gick dit igen och tog med mig min bästa vän och hennes oakley outlet föräldrar.

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